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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Yesterday and Jury duty

Ten years ago Saturday night, according to the Hebrew calendar, my father died. I actually have to look up the English date because it's just not important. He was a man of dry, caustic wit, and intense honesty and loyalty. He also had grand plans for his kids that never really happened. I miss him every day.



He was the one who introduced me to science fiction, kippers and onion and Gilbert and Sullivan.

Every year on Simchat Torah, we sponsor the kiddush in his honor. This is an unusual one as it takes place after shacharit instead of musaf, the additional service. I made it just in time at about 10AM. At which point, we had wine, schnapps and cake. Also herring. We had the long, long, LONG harkofos (circuits of the Torah, which is great fun on the men's side and boring on the women's. I brought a book. I showed this to two young men at a lull, and both said, simultaneously, "AWESOME!". We love those kids. One's getting married next week and missed his kallah a lot.) and then the endless Torah readings and then the additional service (led by Jonathan) when I could say kaddish for Daddy, and then right straight onto the afternoon service.

They do this every year. And every year, everyone is surprised. I don't understand that.

After that, there was a lunch - cabbage rolls, egg rolls, cold cuts, turkey, fried chicken fillets, various salads, fruit. This was sponsored by a couple other families, and it's huge and lovely and good. And people thank ME, which I will NOT accept. Mine is the earlier one.

Other bits - another couple just became grandparents (not a surprise, as their heavily pregnant daughter joined them for Yom Kippur. And it was about time - she's been married a couple of years now.) But all they knew was 7 lbs and a girl and they had no way of finding out more. And they were VERY happy.

Saturday was also yizkor (memorial prayers for the dead.) Ten years hit me hard enough that I cried, but I also danced a little that night, so all is well.

In other news, I have jury duty tomorrow. They encouraged me to bring "reading material and my laptop.) So, I shall. Also knitting and an mp3 player. And any recommendations for VERY LONG stories?

Comments

Hugs to you, hon. It is hard. It's only been just over eight years for my mom and five years for my stepdad. It never really gets easy, does it?

As to long stories, no recommendations at the moment.

I'm glad you get the chance to say kaddish for your dad, and sponsor kiddush for him.

I hope jury duty goes as painlessly as possible.

Hugs.

{{hugs}} It's been nearly 30 years for me, and I still have a rough day every year.

It is hard. I'm glad you could dance and see the joy of the new grandparents, and I hope those gave you comfort.

because my parents divorced when i was 5, i wasn't close to my father, though we did see him every weekend he was in port (he was in the navy). he died four years later, and i will always wonder what it would have been like to grow up with him, to know him, and for him to know my children. i don't think that will ever go away. i'm happy that you have such good memories of your dad :)

Saturday was also the 15th anniversary of my husband Pat's death. I didn't realize it until Sunday because every year at this time, my brain simply refuses to process dates on the calendar for a few days.

{{{{{hug}}}}}