1. If someone says they don't like a genre, they don't like the genre. It *may* be a judgement on RPF or homosexuality, but it more likely means these thing do nothing for them
2. In a perfect world, slash and het would be regarded equally. This is not a perfect world. If a slash fan says she doesn't like het stories, it's generally not read as an indictment of all het but if a het fan says the same thing, it can be read that way. Neither position is fair or right, but it is how it is.
3. "Beloved enemies" pushes many of my buttons, so I write and read it, even if it is out of character. BDSM is often out of character, too, and pushes my squick buttons hard. So I don't read or write it. Neither are evil.
4. Spelling and the rules of grammar and punctuation are the basic tools of writing. If you don't know how to use them, your story will not be readable, and an unreadable story fails.
5. Sex scenes are no different from any other kind of scene - they must still have a purpose in the story (show character, advance the plot or get a laugh.)
6. If you find that the sex is getting boring - write less of it. Sometimes, fading to black is the sexiest thing you can do.
7. Names are good. Use them. Often.
8. Canon is important. You are free to deviate from it, but you must know what it is before you do so, and you must atttempt to make the deviation believable. Source material is also important, even if it's poorly written.
9. If the source material is literary, there is no excuse for spelling the names wrong.
10. My kinks are not your kinks. Your squicks are not my squicks. This is a good thing all around.