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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Thanksgiving rant

Of the good:

The dressing was amazing - a mixture of rye and pumpernickel bread, lots of veggies, chestnuts and spices. Completely pareve.

The gravy was delicious. So was the pumpkin custard and the brussels sprouts.

My mom looked beautiful.

I got to meet my brother-in-law's girlfriend, and she's lovely and bright and nice, and I hope things work out between them. She didn't stay for the meal, though.

We got there around the time we were supposed to, instead of very late.

Of the bad:

The turkey was underdone. This was not an accident, as my in-laws prefer their meat rare. They don't seem to realize that "rare" doesn't work with turkeys. The breast meat was pink with red spots. My husband said the drumstick was *spongy*. Therefore, it was a good thing the stuffing was delicious, since that formed the greater part of my meal.

When dinner was over and everyone left, it rapidly became extremely boring. My husband and his brother spent the time trying to make a photography program work in his brother's eMac. My mother-in-law watched the news and slept. My father-in-law insisted on taking over the clean up.

Of the ugly:

*Me*. We had a public, screaming fight when we left the subway station, and it was probably because I didn't want to face an afternoon of my mother and his parents. In point of fact, I *hid* throughout most of it. Not very pretty.

I also had a very negative reaction to, well. My mother-in-law's arm is still painful and she's also developed sciatica. Making the meal was hard for her, and she had to call upon help. So she went on and on about how helpful Mitchell and his girlfriend were. And how she felt bad about Mitch helping because he's a vegetarian and yet used to love turkey so much (note: Mitch would eat the turkey if he wanted to. I've seen him take a taste of meat). And on and on. But. See.

I'd offered to help. Repeatedly. I'd offered to host the meal. I'd offered to come to her house and cook the meal to her specifications. I hadn't thought of it but if I had, I'd have offered to cook the meal at *my* house and carry it over to hers (except possibly the turkey, although then it would have been *cooked*.) If necessary, I'd have taken Wednesday off from work. But I was told I was "very sweet" and to just make rice pilaf. Which, since she's on a low carb diet, she doesn't eat. And which, since she'd made the stuffing entirely pareve, was unnecessary to the meal, which is why most of it was left over.

I honestly would have made whatever she'd wanted me to, with the exception of pies. I don't make pies. I could have made an apple crisp, though, so there would have been something along with the pumpkin custard.

So to have my offers rejected like that, and then to hear this stranger praised to the heavens *hurt*.

I didn't let her see that, but poor Jonathan got it on the way home. Which were accompanied by half the pilaf leftovers. Which means I don't have to make a side dish tonight.




One thought...older folks seem much more willing to lean on their blood children than their in laws. I ended up baking even though I was sick, and my mom insisted that bro's gf not worry about bringing anything 'because they're moving next week and it'd be too much trouble'. Eh, well, y'know? What can you do.

I hope that you won't let it upset you too much. You sound like a wonderful and considerate daughter in law - and I *know* that you're a sweet and generous and loving person.


Oh, and underdone turkey? Yecchhh. Also, not healthy.

Ouch. That sounds like a rough visit. I don't understand why people do stuff like that either, but I've gotten (smaller!) doses of the same thing from my inlaws too. Oh, no, don't worry about bringing anything for Pesach; you're coming from out of town and it would be so much work (err, no). But then the other relatives, some of whom also travelled with kids, show up with piles of stuff... I don't get it. I don't think it's that they dislike my cooking...