I stopped by the coffee house first, hoping that just sitting and reading for a bit would help. And it did. And so did the stroll from the coffee house to the bus stop. I was starting to feel a lot better.
And then. There was a bus at the bus stop, just *sitting*. They do that. There's no telling when they'll leave. So I didn't rush. I didn't dawdle, but, you know. There are lights and things. When I got to the bus stop...the bus chose *that* moment to power up and drive away.
I yelled after it. I never yell after buses.
So. I waited. It's cold, and getting late and I waited.
And the next bus came. This stop is at the start of the line. The end of the line is directly across the street, and there is a traffic circle in between. Most of the time, the bus lets off its passengers and maybe sits for a bit and then goes around the circle and starts the route over. Sometimes, though, it goes out of service and instead of starting the route again, it goes to a street 3/4 of the way round. Guess what?
I lost it. I swear I lost it. I started crying. I mean, it was just too much. People came over and tried to make me feel better or to commiserate. And five minutes later, to make my entire tantrum even sillier, two buses show up and they both go around.
I almost miss my stop, but don't, so that's good. And then I nearly twist my ankle but I'm able to mostly walk it out before going to the supermarket ot pick up what I need for dinner. I mean, it still aches, and will probably be a bit stiff tomorrow, but that's about it.
And I get my things for dinner and go home and the sink is full of pots and dishes, but I don't need any of them. I fix a pan of roasted potatoes and stick the chicken fillets into the microwave, and then I say the evening service - I normally don't, but if I say it and double up on the central prayer, it makes up for missing the afternoon service even though technically it's a different day. Jonathan calls just as I'm starting over, and he's sweet and offers to bring home dinner, but I've started it, so no point and not much of a problem.
I think. I think the problem is that I'm tired. Inside. I need a few days without any responsibilities, including housekeeping (such as I do it) and cooking.