April 15th, 2004

Mama Deb

Body image

Not mine. Right now, I'm feeling more or less positive about my body. I'm still fat - I'll always be fat - but under the fat is firm muscle and that makes me feel good because I built that muscle.

It's my Pakua master, an 18 year old girl, who is 5'7" and weighs maybe 140lbs, and who was called fat yesterday because her shirt revealed a slight belly. You know, the one a woman is supposed to have when she has the normal layer of fat? The one that the fashion industry has declared bad and you have to be anorexic to get rid of, or at least disrupt your hormone cycles?

She's strong and athletic and very powerful. She teaches several classes a week and takes even more. But she's fat because she doesn't look like a stick.