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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
This Week

This has been an interesting week.


Sunday

I went to see my mother - and therefore meet my mother's boyfriend. So cute.

The visit went well. We took a bag full of deli and rye bread and such - and it was a job for poor jonbaker, who had to search to find a takeout place that actually had food that soon after Pesach.

We then rented a car and drove out. Lenny (he will not let us call him "Mr.") is a sweet guy and he and my mother look very comfortable together, and both look happy. He's a couple years older than Mom, and has grown grandchildren.

His daughter is currently in end-stage kidney disease. Avigail bat Chava.

The only weird part was when my Great-Aunt Harriet called. Aunt Harriet is only ten years or so older than my mother - she's my dad's aunt but she's a child of old age. I haven't seen her since my wedding thirteen years ago because, frankly, I don't go to Florida.

Anyway, she asked what I was doing and I talked about work and about my martial arts and that Thursdays and Fridays are busy because I'm religious.

And that's when it got weird. Apparently, she's heard "stories" about Orthodox men - how they force their wives to wear wigs and I don't know what else. She even...this is weird even to write about. She said to me, "You don't have to answer if he's in the room. Just say 'yes' or 'no' - does he treat you well? Is he a good husband?"

.................

I cannot imagine what she heard - that Orthodox men beat their wives or something? Not that I believe that spousal abuse is unknown - there are social services cards in every mikveh, for goodness sake. But *just* because he's Orthodox? It was just very weird.

And then I could tell when she asked my mother the same question. *Eye-roll*



Work-week

Not having broadband has been awful. I can't enter listings because there's only one computer hooked up to any sort of isp, and *it* uses dial-up. And it can't be *my* desk because we need that phone available.

So, I answer the phones and do that, which does take up a lot of time, and I retyped the key list yesterday from scratch (and realized we have rental keys over a year old, and that should be addressed) and I played a lot of Spider. A whole lot of spider. And I worked a bit on an original story which is stuck on the hard drive three layers of folders down because no way to get it out.

Supposedly, the local cable company is installing a business cable modem now. They said it would be from 10AM to 2PM - definitely the cable company. :) I'm writing this at 1:30PM.

So we'll be back in business next week. Yay!

Otherwise, the new office is just lovely. It's an attractive, functional space and I so love having a kitchen. It means that on Tuesday I got to eat leftover fajitas - a nice *hot* lunch and it means that yesterday I could take the time to wash and bentch and daaven mincha - and I could daaven standing up, not sitting in a coffee house. And I could take enough food so I wasn't starving at 5PM.

And one of the agents insists I lost weight. :)




Today
Pakua. Watch me fight with sticks. :)

This is the sfira, sort of Jewish Lent. It's a period of semi-mourning between Passover and Shavuot. This means that there are no weddings, no haircuts and no live music. This is why my last name is "Baker", actually. The original was "Beckerman" before Jonathan's father changed it just prior to WWII, when, as a professional musician, he didn't want to have a German-sounding last name in the US. Not given what had happened during WWI.

Anyway, the family back in Poland were also professional musicians. But professional musicians wouldn't get much work during S'fira, except on the 33rd day. So they baked the town matzah to get the money to last until they could play again.

So, we don't listen to live music. There is also a question about broadcast or recorded music. Many people, including us, hold that listening to a broadcast or a recording is not the same as listening to the thing itself. Therefore, one does not, for example, need to reply "amen" to a broadcast or recorded prayer. Others, though, hold that listening to *any* music at all, including broadcast or recorded, is forbidden.

One such person is my Pakua classmate Riki. But Riki *loves* music, especially when she drives. And even newschannel music is more than she wants to hear now. There *are* a cappella Jewish albums out there marketed as "kosher l's'fira" but Riki is a headbanger. Really. :) She likes rock and metal and things with a real beat to them. Next to these albums, *boybands* rock.

So. I bought her a Da Vinci's Notebook CD. And she loves it - all vocal but they do rock and they're fun - and their lyrics are such that she can play them in front of her kids. :)

And if I ever do decide to buy hair, I'll ask her to go with me, since I have no idea what buying a wig entails, except money. She just bought one for $2000. But it's totally flat on top and multi-directional, which means she can part it and style it however she wants. And, as she says, she wears it every day.

Comments

This is the sfira, sort of Jewish Lent. i never thought of it that way...what a wonderful way of explaining things!!!

yeah there's TONS of rumors going around the non frum world about orthodox ppl. like my family feels "comfortable" b/c dan was raised catholic. and i remember hearing rumors about how the frum community had TONS of spousal abuse and they couldn't do anything b/c the women are so suppressed and stepped on. i mean look at them! they cover EVERYTHING and wear wigs/snoods/hats! they're not liberated at all and the men are keeping them down!

that's the mentality.

They should only know, right?

music and sfiria

But *just* because he's Orthodox? It was just very weird.

*rolls eyes* Sheesh...

I've occasionally wondered about the music restriction. Specifically, has "music" vs "[live] entertainment" been addressed? (It must have been and presumably the theatre is still ok, but I'm curious about the reasoning.) What about watching television (if you hold to broadcast also being a problem), where music might pop up but you can't predict it for sure?

I don't know if the theatre is okay, actually. I mean, it's hard to find a play without live music someplace.

I'm assuming those who can't listen to music at all do not watch television, either - assuming they *ever* watch television, I mean. I know any number of people who do not.

I don't know if the theatre is okay, actually. I mean, it's hard to find a play without live music someplace.

Well, it does require that you choose a play you already know something about. Broadway musicals are clearly out; Death of a Salesman is probably in; there's lots of stuff in between.

Of course, it just might not be worth the hassle, which I can certainly understand.

Almost all the plays I go to don't have live music. It's easy and cheap to have it all on computer and push a button at the appropriate times. Other than for actual musicals, it's not worth the expense.

And if I ever do decide to buy hair, I'll ask her to go with me, since I have no idea what buying a wig entails, except money. She just bought one for $2000. But it's totally flat on top and multi-directional, which means she can part it and style it however she wants. And, as she says, she wears it every day.

I got my sheitel somewhere in the five towns, and I love it. It was about $1100 including the cut. If I'd wanted a part, it would have been $1200 and up. I believe that the next sheitel I get will have a part for sure, but that's some time away. I do wear my sheitel every day and it was worth every single penny after just one week. Really.

Yeesh. Laptop territory, as I said.

heh. I actually spent *less* on my laptop. ;)

You lucky dog you - you listen to recorded music! I'm so jealous! I can't wait for Lag B'Omer because driving is killing me with the the news on. I'm falling asleep! Today is 16, so only 17 more days to go....

Wigs are expensive, which is a pain in the neck. Multi directional parts are great. I just have a little bit of a part which works for me because I don't try to style my wigs that much - just leave them to hang where they fall (no pun intended). But they are very useful.

Not just recorded music.

*Recorder*. My husband plays the recorder as a way to relax, which is something he needs. He does try to do it with me not around (for many reasons - he likes playing his soprano one, and that's painful for me.)

I know. I'm weakening. At this point, I have three things holding me back.

1. The money
2. Jonathan doesn't like them.
3. Do they really do the job? (distant third, although it's Jonathan's reasons for not liking them.)

I have been thinking about a hat fall, though.

3. Do they really do the job? (distant third, although it's Jonathan's reasons for not liking them.)

What do you mean by "do they do the job?"

It's...I'd be covering my own hair with someone else's hair. Or something made to resemble hair, anyway. And it would be neater and better styled than my own hair, because my idea of styling my own hair is ponytail. Or bun.

He's very old school - he likes hats that look like hats, not hats that look like hair. Although, except for the very best, sheitls look like sheitls.