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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Preaching to the Converted

jonbaker has a Talmud class tonight. Okay, he has a Talmud class every night, in that he's part of the Daf Yomi, page a day, program, but on Tuesdays he goes to a longer class in Manhattan.

Anyway, since I have the night alone, I thought I'd go to this program on tzniut, modesty.



If it had been a live program, that would have been interesting, especially with the sheitl situation. But it was a video. And they said nothing new, nothing that this audience had never heard before. This audience was mostly from Boro Park. It was, of course, completely female - high school girls in uniform, unmarried older girls, and married women of all ages. (In these communities, unmarried adults are called "girls" and "boys", so a "man" can be younger than a "boy".)

I saw a lot of sheitls - many looking like plastic, but I couldn't really tell. A number had an extra covering, as is common in this community - a little straw hat or a very wide headband. I also saw a lot of ladies wearing snoods and a couple wearing hats. I'd chosen to wear a scarf.

That's not the point, but it's what I saw. The audience was already being rather strict on the laws of modesty - not just the bare law or the tiny bit over that I do in covering my elbows. Most of these ladies were wearing long sleeves and loose tops and thick stockings. Most of these women were living these laws. I live these laws.

This program wasn't to get the women watching to be more tzniut. This was to for them to feel good that they are doing a mitzvah "more important than Shabbat." And that's certainly a good thing. Did it work? I don't know. I found it deadly.

I'm following these laws because these are the laws. On hot humid summer days, I'd rather not wear an overshirt, but fine.

I don't think they make me better as a person. They do enhance my self-esteem, because I'm covering my body not out of shame but because it's something nice not for public consumption. That's official. That's the same feeling I get during my periods of niddah, when I keep myself more or less covered around my husband. It's both the law and his request - he doesn't want to see what he can't touch.

This is a tremendous boost to my ego.

Does it make me a better Jew? Only in that obeying any mitzvah makes one a better Jew. Unlike one of the rebbitzens in tonight's video, I don't think it's more important than Shabbat.

I left early, when the video ended with an ad for a learning program using a book I've already read and, in many cases, disagreed with. It was past 10:15 at that point and I had to take two buses home.

Comments
Re: my $0.02

Ah, but if she makes a fuss about how she's treated, then she would be calling attention to herself, which is un-tznius.

Re: my $0.02

Lovely theory, but if calling attention to oneself were really considered being non-tzniut then the people who work in midtown Manhattan wearing multiple layers of black in the summer in styles that were popular in Europe in the 1800s(?) would have to (horrors) switch to modern suits and their kids would (real horrors) switch to jeans and T-shirts. (Yes, some exaggeration here, but not much.)

Re: my $0.02

It's un-tzniut if she throws a tantrum in the middle of the office. It's not if she quietly goes the coworker and says "stop it", or to HR and initiates a complaint.