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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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As I can't log into mamadebfic and it's barely PG, I'll post this here.

This is for darthfox, who was bored today.

Lupin/Snape Sort of sequel to First Full Moon.

Re-edited for readability.




Moon Dark
Remus took a moment to tidy his robes, laughing a little at himself as he did so - before wiping his sweaty palms on them. Then he knocked on Snape's door. Almost instantly, the door opened.

"I'm glad to see that some Gryffindors can be prompt. I had begun to despair." He gestured for Remus to enter.

Snape's quarters were spare and somewhat shabby, but the furniture looked comfortable and if he had no pictures or bric-a-brac, he did have walls covered in books in rows of matching colored labels, as well as neat, squared off piles on his desk and worktable. Even the parchments, quills and inkpots were tidy and organized.

"I am perhaps more attuned to time than most. For example, I notice you summoned me here at the dark of the moon." He smiled. "May I sit?"

"I seem to have mislaid my manners - I have been among children too long, perhaps. Even Slytherin standards have changed. Yes, do sit, Lupin." Snape kept his eyes just off Remus' shoulder. Remus himself avoided Snape's eyes.

"Perhaps if you didn't *coddle* them, Severus." Remus glanced at him sidelong as he took a seat on a slightly worn armchair.

"Given this school's bias, someone must." Snape sat on the end of the couch. There was a book, bookmark in place, on the cushion next to him. "Most teachers seem to seek out Slytherin." He looked put out but did not say anything.

"As you seek out Gryffindor. You *will* have noticed that I am equally profligate with all the Houses." He shrugged. "Why did you summon me? You haven't looked at me since the day after the full moon." After the first one of the year, he had fallen asleep in Snape's bed and woken up in Snape's arms. They'd leapt out and Remus floo'd so quickly to his own rooms that he'd almost singed himself.

"I am aware of this. I was endeavoring to reduce any awkwardness." He shook his head. "I seem to have failed." Snape took a deep breath. "I have been thinking about your Wolfsbane and your transformations."

"You have? The potion worked fine - I felt no compulsion to bite or hurt anything. I am extraordinarily grateful to it." He thought about taking Snape's hand.

Snape shrugged that off. "You can reserve your gratitude for the Headmaster. Had I had my way, you would not be here at all."

"Because I'm a werewolf?"

"Yes. You cannot miss any of the doses or you will endanger the school and the students you're so *fond* of. And because your old lover is now loose and approaching this school. What will you do if he contacts you, and asks to be allowed in?"

Remus controlled the flair of anger and grief with ease of long practice. "My old *lover* left our bed promising that he'd *die* rather than betray James and Lily. Not satisfied with breaking that, he killed Peter. I would not allow him near the school unless he was petrified, bound and unconscious. Or perhaps dead." That was a pleasant thought. He smiled.

"I wish I could believe you." He shrugged.

"Why am I here, Severus?"

"It seems that if normal werewolf transformations were normally that debilitating, no werewolf would survive his first full moon - at least, no feral one."

"We are rather hard to harm." He ran a hand through his hair. "You're correct. Normally, werewolves *run*. We need to run as much as we hunger to bite humans. The Wolfsbane suppresses that urge as well, and my muscles suffer. I'm afraid there's little that can be done about that."

"We shall see."

"Are you making a project of me, then? Improving the lot of the British werewolf?"

Snape shrugged. "It will relieve the boredom of teaching." He licked his lips. "That is not the sole reason I asked you to come."

"No?" Remus frowned. "Why else?"

Snape got up from the couch and walked to his hearth. "I'm going to make you chocolate. I presume it's permitted now?"

"Yes, but you don't have to..." He stood up.

"Sit, please. Allow me to practice *some* hospitality. I get very little call for it." He got out the ingredients for the drink - including milk in a pitcher covered in condensation. He began to fuss with spoons and measurements and the tiny fire he lit under a little cauldron. "And this is calming."

"Why do you need to be calm?"

"I do not trust you, Lupin." He stirred the cocoa powder in the cauldron.

"So you said. I believe you." Remus could not take his eyes off Snape's hands.

He added sugar. "I do not trust you but I cannot get you out of my mind - how you looked in my bed. How beautiful you are."

Remus shook his head in disbelief. "I am not..." Sirius had been beautiful. So had James and Lily. He was ordinary.

"You are. And I dream of it every night." He slowly added milk from the pitcher. "It's a poor bargain that I am offering you, I know."

Remus wasn't sure he was hearing correctly. "What are you asking me, Severus?"

He kept stirring the cocoa, never taking his eyes off it. "I cannot forget how it was to have you in my bed, and I find I do not wish to. That I wish to have you there again - or, perhaps, for you to have me. If you so desire."

"You want to be friends?" Remus tried to make the words make sense.

Steam rose from the cauldron, sweet and rich. "I do not know. Perhaps I just wish to be warm. Winters get very cold here, as I'm sure you remember." He carefully poured the chocolate into two large mugs. He added more sugar to one.

"Even though you do not trust me? Or like me? Even though it would probably be a good idea not to allow the students to discover this?"

"Even so, Lupin. However, I will understand if you do not accept this."

He stood when Snape approached him and took the cup offered. He sipped. It was perfect in all ways. He'd had a lover like that once - perfect for him in all ways, full of promises and trust. That lover had betrayed him more thoroughly than he'd ever imagined.

He looked at Snape, who was far from perfect. "Call me 'Remus.'" Still holding his cup, he stepped closer and touched their lips together briefly. "No promises. One moment at a time."

Snape nodded. They sat down and finished their cocoa in silence.

Comments

Difficult to read without the double-carriage-return paragraph breaks.

I'm so glad darthfox was bored! And glad you explained why Remus seemed so wiped after the first dose of Wolfsbane, instead of feeling as though it was his best transformation ever.

I love Snape doing the nearest thing he can find to potion-making while he's making his declaration.

I have decided that the Semagic WYSIWYG format is evil.

It's been re-edited to readability.

I'm glad you liked the story.

I have a bunch of things to cover in this...

I liked that very much... Remus still dealing with what happened with Sirius, and Snape somehow reaching out. Very good.

Snape is lonely - he's surrounded by people either significantly older or yournger than he is. Remus has been dealing with this, badly and internally, for twelve years.

It's not the healthiest of relationships. Poor woobies.

It's not the healthiest of relationships. Poor woobies.

No, but I find the idea of Snape suggesting it very right because it's a very Slytherin-ethical thing to do. An offer to their mutual advantage, without promising more than he's prepared to actually give.

When you posted the first bit I didn't see how you could make it work, but you have. Will there be more, I hope?

[happysigh]

thank you! [hugs] (ooh, and it's almost time for my hot chocolate this afternoon ...)