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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]

An open letter to all writers of Remus Lupin:

ENOUGH with the chocolate already.

He is NOT obsessed with chocolate. He doesn't eat a single piece, for example in Order of the Phoenix.

Chocolate is the Wizarding remedy for an encounter with a Dementor. Remember how pleased Madam (note, please, *Madam*, not *Madame*. Poppy is not French) Pomfrey was when she learned that Lupin gave the students chocolate? "Thank goodness someone knows his remedies."

The other times he gave Harry chocolate was after Patronus training, which meant he had to encounter a Dementor!Boggart, and apparently that has much the same effect as a real Dementor, which doesn't make any sense, but whatever.. Not only that, but he never eats it himself after those lessons (does he even eat any on the train?)

I know it's cute; I know it's become a fanon character trait and I know it seems to make sense, but it's NOT canon.

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It would make sense to have him able to pull out remedies for nearly any Dark Arts attack out of his pocket, the sort that only the seriously paranoid and/or professional Me vs. the Dark Arts person would be carrying around casually.

If someone's carrying around prescription-strength chocolate, and doesn't occasionally nibble on chocolate himself, he was either prepared for a dementor attack specifically, or is in the habit of carrying around useful items like that.

It's getting to be like Krycek and his chocolate. :)

Firstly: Bwa-ha-ha! :) So true!

Secondly, I don't think Remus needs the chocolate, either because
a) he knows how to properly react in the presence of a Dementor, or
b) some parts of his reality are much worse than any memories a Dementor could conjure up (i.e. his thoughts really aren't happy to begin with), or
c) some combination of the two, which I think is most likely.

Incidentally, in the French translations, Madam Pomfrey's name is Madame Pomfresh, which never ceases to make me giggle.

Plus, you know.

The canine thing. Although I actually don't think that's a factor (I did say in a story that he had to avoid chocolate right after the full moon, though.)

Well there goes your fanfic. (I kid.) And your absolutely right, it's not canon, he's not obsessed, and he doesn't eat any that I can remember. (I think I made a dumb "chocolate is bad for dogs" association on that... but wolves aren't dogs and he's not a wolf anyway, so I call it dumb).

Even if a character is into a food I can get enough of it in fanfics. (Trigun fans: Vash loves donuts, he eats them three times but one time he bursts into sincere hysterical tears while he's doing it. So lay off the incessant donut humor fics. Sorry for the digression.)

<333 Vash and your icon.

P.S. Also, the moaning chocolate orgasms all over the place in fanfic? Just...don't. For the love of Mike.

Are you suggesting chocolate doesn't moan?


... and breathe ;)

Not that I don't agree with you of course, but blue is never a good colour.

Ah, that's nothing. I breath at commas.

You should hear me when I *really* get a rant going. :)

Like say, the fact that people seem to think it's Miss. Granger.


(no subject) - (Anonymous)   Expand  

Thank you.

Severus: Here, have another.

Remus: I'm gonna throw up.

Personally, I have no objection to chocoholic!Remus - it's a popular flavor, and it's not as if we're talking about him sucking down something vile like brewer's yeast. However, here's an alternate take I wrote on "Remus is obsessed with chocolate," originally posted in lupin100:

It had been a good birthday, he supposed. The DA had had a whip-around and bought him a huge box of Honeydukes truffles. Minerva had sent a batch of cocoa butter for post-transformation aches and pains, and Albus (of course!) had given him an Artisanal-Cocoa-of-the-Month Club membership. Even Molly Weasley had gotten into the act, presenting him with a beautiful Chilean-style jumper in thick, chocolate-and-cream wools.

It was enough to make his taste buds permanently numb.

Severus opened the door at the first knock and gestured negligently toward the table set for two. “Coconut cream pie. Your favorite, I believe?”

Happy Birthday!

After I get my life back, will do you a fic!
Don't count on it this year tho.

Hear HEAR.

How about Sugarquills?

Much cuter than chocolate ;)

Indeed, and far more practical.


*nods* I have a friend who loves to associate Remus with chocolate, but there's nothing wrong with that as she is aware it is not canon!!!!

>.< But websites that talk about Remus and keep a CANON profile saying his fav food is chocolate is a bit too much!


Especially since it's actually Sirius.

I always have Remus be allergic to chocolate, myself

lol! I have to add that in my fic now.

Tonks: And Remus, who gives Chocolate to his students quite randomly...

Remus: It's. a. remedy.

Tonks: Sure.

I'm going to add some other things, I hope you don't mind:

- He did not sob in misery over James before Sirius's death. (I say before because I am sure it brought back memories of James when Siirus died - but still). And if Remus did still sob over James and Lily, he'd also have tears for Lily, too.

- He is not morose over being a Werewolf. Fanfic authors, as well as Steven Kloves, (who is no longer the scripterwriter, thank goodness) need to get that in their heads.

- Remus is not going to have sex with one of his students.

I love your icon.

And that scene.

And, yes. Remus is not a sobber (at least in public.) He's far more quiet about it. As in, he turned pale right after Sirius fell through the veil and he stayed that way weeks later, but he stayed in control.

I love Remus for that.

And, yes, he loved Lily as much as he loved James and Sirius and Peter. Please don't forget Peter. I suspect that Remus spent some time after PoA mourning the friend who turned out not to be a friend, much as he did when Sirius first went to Azkaban.

I'm pretty sure he's not happy about being a Werewolf, but there's no point in being morose about it. Being morose because of discrimination, absolutely - but he isn't. If anyone could organize them to get their rights back, it would be him. I don't like the term "alpha" - I think it's overused - but he's clearly a leader type. Which is why he was a good teacher.

No. He wouldn't. He might, however, have sex with a former student if he thought the situation warranted it. (Um. I have a Remus/Harry story. :))

Hear hear!

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