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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]

My mother fell asleep or something at the wheel. Baruch Hashem, it was on a slow, winding road so she wasn't going very fast. She woke up just in time to crash into a tree.

I keep thinking, what if it had been a highway? It could so easily have been a highway. And they gave her an MRI to find out why, but I don't know anymore.

And my brother is making me feel guilty because I *can't* help out. If I had a car and didn't have a job and lived in New Jersey, I could. I live in New York. I don't have a car. I do have a job.

I mean, I wish I could. And I feel intensely guilty that I can't. Just to commute to work would be $40 a day for the rental and eleven dollars for the toll and Gd knows how much for the gas and the hour commute and the time it would take to park. And I don't get days off. Or, rather, I might, but I won't get paid. I work part time, That doesn't give time off. And I feel like I'm making excuses so that I won't be inconvenienced.

I'm going to go out there Thursday. Or maybe Wednesday, although that will cost me a day's pay plus the rental. And that sounds so petty.


I hope your mother makes a speecdy and complete recovery.

Don't let yourself feel bad about this either. You're responsible, not petty!

{{{hugs to mamadeb}}}

I did the smart thing today. I took the day off and as soon as I can make arrangements, I'll go out to see her in the hospital.

I don't feel like a bad daughter anymore.

Mama, you are fine. You can't do what you can't do.