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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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December 2010
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Mama Deb [userpic]

Okay. I'm confused. How come the fact that I can't keep my kitchen clean means I shouldn't own a house, but I should adopt a child?

Does this make any sense at all?

Comments

'splain?

It's my mother-in-law. She has decided that, while we should indeed own our own home, it should be an apartment - a co-op or that rare beast, the condo - instead of a house. This is because I am a poor housekeeper. Which is true. This therefore proveswe are not responsible enough for home-ownership. Also, if we own a house, Jonathan will have to give up many of his religious classes (none of which cost us anything) because he'll have to spend his evenings taking care of the house. Which is odd because most of the men he learns with own houses.

However, she also spent much of the last phone call telling me how lovely her cousin's adopted daughter is, and how smart and active and cute and well-adjusted and, unspoken, was "You should adopt a child soon, too. See how wonderful it is?"

So, apparently, I'm okay to take responsibility for a *child* but not for a house.

Ah. Which is nutty.

I suppose a child would put a temorary crimp in religious classes much more than a house would...

Of course you can eventually take the theoretical child to class and you can't take the house.

I don't know what to say, but I think she will turn out to be happy if you buy a house or get a child.

Certainly happier than if they get a house or buy a child ;)

Pfui. If anybody is entitled to decide whether you are responsible enough to own a house, it's you; the only people who might have a say with regard to adopting children are the folks who screen prospective parents.

'Cause, you see, if it were me, I would have already said "thank you for your opinion" and be working on the blistering response for when the next set of worthless dumping came my way. But I'm not known for being nice.

I just don't understand humans. I just *don't*. Because I just spent a half hour trying to explain this to my own mother, and she doesn't see the logical discontinuity at all. (Although she also thinks I should own a house.)

I agree. You should own a house. And you should adopt a child. If you feel up to it.

I see the logical discontinuity. It's a crock. The hardest part for me, in your shoes, would be finding the polite way to convey that message.

Being a poor housekeeper is not a good enough reason to subject yourself to the whims and iron grip of a condo or coop board, rather than being able to handle your house as suits you. Don't buy into it, and don't let your MiL get you off track.

*boggle* Ok, sometimes people are just weird.

If it's important to you, you'll make it work -- whether "it" is a spotless kitchen, a kid, a home of your own, or whatever. People undervalue the concept of "good enough" sometimes.