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Mama Deb
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December 2010
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Mama Deb [userpic]

Okay. I'm confused. How come the fact that I can't keep my kitchen clean means I shouldn't own a house, but I should adopt a child?

Does this make any sense at all?


I do want to adopt a child. But I don't understand how one can be too irresponsible for a house and yet responsible enough to raise a child.

All I can guess is that childraising and house cleaning are different skill sets? It is an odd idea.

I can see many cases where one's lifestyle precludes owning a house, but parenting works.

But, uh, yeah, somebody's offering some bad advice.

On the other hand, Cat and I are not what you would call tidy, cleaning people, and the condo is still standing...

IIRC, condos still have group decisions on building maintainence and the like? Homeowners have to do their own thing there, generally.

But kid-parents also have to periodically maintain the kid. Who reminds them?

You can see why I'm confused here.

Perhaps she's under the impression that children who are of age to be adopted are also self-maintaining, or will provide their own reminders about maintainence? But that does not include doctor checkups and dental checkups, which are analogous to the checking that termites etc. have not overwhelmed the foundations.

No, she understands we want a baby. And she knows kids better than that - she raised three of her own (and one was adopted, although my sister-in-law was twelve at the time, and the daughter of her husband.)

Take it from me, they are definitely *way* different skill sets. I'm a poor housekeeper, but I'm really proud of my work as a Mom. So maybe your M-i-L is seeing something true about you, that you would do much better taking care of an ever-changing human being than of a boring ol' house.

Skill sets.

SEe, that's a term I understand. And, yeah. Housekeeping is the most boring thing *ever*. But a kid could be fun. Especially if I have to be on the alert to keep them from knocking down the piles of piles of stuff...

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

That sort of makes sense. My kitchen is neglected to a degree - nothing rotting on the counters or anything, and I use clean food prep items, but it's cluttered. I'm bad at decluttter and tidy.

A house will give us...more room to accumulate stuff. This is probably a bad thing, except we've never let lack of room stop us, and we'd get more wallspace for bookcases, which is the thing we most desperately need. Wallspace. For bookcases. And also a place for a child and its stuff. And even people to come and sing and stay with us. And my mom will be happy.

But it wouldn't be a condo because condos don't exist. It would be a co-op. Which means we would live in the apartment, but we don't own it. We own shares in the building that equal the apartment in which we would live. Or something. It's a New York thing. And everything takes board approval. Which is usually given, but you do have to ask.

I'm with commodorified about what it probably meant.

And I've been to New York and I've seen some pretty big apartments. I would love to live in the place byzantienne and her family live in. Then again, I'm completely allergic to suburbs and the idea of owning a house and you're not.

I know what a co-op is (we have similar things in SF) but I'd rather live in one than a house.

I don't want to move to the suburbs. I love living in Brooklyn - and with a nondriving husband, it makes life a lot easier. And we love our synagogue.

But there are houses here.

Her kitchen has got to be better than most people's, though; it's kashered and stays that way. :D

littlewings04 assures me that even my kitchen can be set to rights, bless her optimistic soul.

Oh, that's easy to do. I just rarely cook dairy meals. :)