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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Rant all my own

I understand that my quick is not your squick and your kink is not my kink, and so this is just a suggestion.

But I'm reading an rpg where, once again, someone is going to do body modification to prove undying love. This is a running theme in this rpg and so I shouldn't be bothered by it. Or I should stop reading it.

But. People. Come up with some other idea, please? Millions of people all over the world and throughout history have managed to show undying love without injecting ink under their skin or attaching bits of metal to various places. Really.

"Darling, I love you so much, I tattooed your name right here!"

"Your beautiful, perfect skin! Oh, no!"

Isn't that outlandish a reaction. Is it?

Comments

(Okay, so I thought about being a human doily. That doesn't make me any more committed than someone who wears a ring on their finger, does it?)

You can take the ring off more easily, I guess. :)

That people choose to get pierced or tattoo'd is their business, and if their partners think it's romantic, that's cool.

It's a reaction to a lot of things, like someone wrote a story for me in a challenge, and since I didn't think to specify no body modifications, the wedding rituals (it was a wedding challenge) included branding. Which is about one of my biggest body mod squicks ever, which the writer couldn't know.

And a reaction to the possibility that a nineteen year old boy in an RPG might get his boyfriend's name tattooed on his wrist. Note that in this RPG, said nineteen year old has already magically bound himself to the boyfriend in order to save his life. And even that wouldn't bother me so much but the reactions of the readers are, "Ohhh, a wrist tattoo would be the most wonderful thing!"

And so I'm feeling lonely in my squickedness.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

names are bad ideas

IMHO names of blood relatives (e.g. "Mother", one's own children) are OK, but no matter how fond you are of a non-blood relative it's flamboyantly stupid to get their name as a tattoo. Exhibit A: Angelina Jolie.

The fiction writing part of me wonders whether someone -- not the beloved -- who also has that name can have magickal control over someone with a name tattooed on them.

This idea, I like.

edited

My reaction to your first sentence is "And if, g-d forbid, it doesn't work, the person with the ring has one less set of scars/marks to deal with than I do," which may not make sense, since we're talking about commitment, but...

I suspect I'm not consistent, but then again, I didn't get my ears pierced at all until my mid-twenties, and the aforementioned ear piercing until I was almost 40, and it was in line with all the body modifications I was thinking of making for myself, anyway.

Branding squicks me, too, in ways that other bodymods don't. Burn scars are ugly.

And, even though a lot of my friends have done it, I think that 19 is too early to get a tattoo -- and that names are bad ideas.

(The fiction writing part of me wonders whether someone -- not the beloved -- who also has that name can have magickal control over someone with a name tattooed on them. Might be worth playing with.)

Branding, to me, is something done to animals, not to humans.

And I do love that idea.

Branding, to me, is something done to animals, not to humans.
I feel the same way. And it really bothers me, as a feminist (I know that doesn't apply in the boy-on-boy scenario, so much, but the power politics can still be present in any relationship). Branding of animals connotes ownership. The idea of branding a lover bothers me hugely. True lovers do not own each other. They are together because of an emotional bond, not some sense of proprietorship. To use an emblem of ownership to commemorate the bond really feeds into the negatives of patriarchy, to my mind.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

As I said, body mods run through that RPG. If it squicked me enough that I needed to stop reading it, I would stop reading it.

It hasn't, yet, because it *is* funny and romantic and suspenseful and generally enjoyable to read *despite* all the bits of metal and ink. I'm certainly not telling you to not do it - ultimately, you're writing the rpg for yourselves, not the watchers and I understand that. You do what's fun for you.

I just needed to say it. It's such a common thing these days that people forget that body mod *can* be a squick to some people.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

Honestly, if I were going to stop reading, I wouldn't have posted at all. I would have quietly unsubbed from the watching community and unbookmarked the page.

It's several things. The big one was to vent. But it is necessary to remind people about squicks - people *forget*. *I* forget that things that aren't squicky to me might be to other people.

And, yes, to encourage writers to show other forms of devotion. The bond I mentioned in a comment is a case in point - I bought the reason and the results and it was done beautifully.

Except, most places you go, there's some form of tattooing or piercing. It's not an isolated thing. It's systemic. Historically, the cultures that do not engage in such practices are far less common that those that do.

Loki has a degree in athropology and did a major paper on this sort of stuff and the research was truly fascinating.

B

Sure. US culture has had piercing forever, for example. My own ears were pierced when I was seven. I let them close up because I found earrings uncomfortable, but I've never been squicked by the idea.

But tattoos were not widespread in US culture until the nineties.

The sheer permanence of the marks is part of the problem - permanance but not immutability. I've seen old tattoos, and mostly they're faded and blue. People's bodies change, inks fade (although I assume inks have improved over the years) and the tattoo that was lovely on a twenty year old might not look so pretty on a fifty year old. (There's a recent Saturday Night Live commercial parody about a caustic substance to remove no-longer cool-looking lower back tattoos.) Piercings at most leave a tiny scar.

The inks have improved, and sunscreen has improved: not only the technology, but the understanding that it makes sense to protect skin from sun damage. That applies to non-tattooed skin as well, of course: the SPF 25 will help preserve my tattoos, but my dermatologist recommended it because she doesn't want her patients getting cancer.

(no subject) - (Anonymous)

Thank you! That was the point I was trying (apparently poorly) to make.

And I deliberately did not identify the rpg - those who are familiar with it will recognize it, but it's not important that anyone else do so.

I got it, implicit in what you were saying. Which is why part of my comment was to agere, and observe that there are people who like some bodymods, and are still squicked by others, and squicked by the default assumption that everyone will like them.

And the plot bunny I suggested seems to have grabbed me by the throat and is pinning me to the ground, saying, "DO SOMETHING WITH ME."

("It would be a lot easier to DO SOMETHING if you let me breathe, you know....")

I was 40 when I had my first (and only so far) tattoo of my totem animal, Hello Kitty. Of course I chatted with the tattoo artist the whole time, and the subject of names came up - she won't do them, and says tattoo artists won't. It's not just due to possible regret - some believe that a name tattoo actually *dooms the relationship*. True or not, I do know a couple of people who would rather not have certain names/symbols from the past...