Jim's arm covered his eyes as if to protect them from the morning sun, hiding the dark eyeshades. The sheets tangled with his legs, leaving most of them, most of *Jim*, bare. And between his legs, catching a beam of sunlight, his penis slowly thickened and rose with the pressures of morning.
'I'm in bed with a damn gay porn centerfold.' Blair wrapped his arms around his own legs and stared. He stared so hard he didn't know why the pressure of his eyes didn't wake his...his...Jim up. 'Yeah, Sandburg. You're in bed with the *guy* you had *sex* with last night, and even now you're so turned on you can't *think*.' Except that was wrong, because he couldn't stop thinking. But the more he thought, the more aroused he got, and the more aroused he got...
He adjusted his sweatpants. He stared some more. Jim moved a little, uncovering his eyeshades, and baring more of his legs. Nice legs. Long, muscular, not at all feminine legs that Blair was now picturing wrapped around his own waist. Which he would probably see for real in the not too distant future, which was not a place he really wanted to go, seeing as the very thought had him on his feet and running to the stairs and all the way down them.
Using the john and starting a pot of coffee and just being away from the huge Thing that was Jim's bed and bedroom and naked Jim in that bed and bedroom and the reason why Jim was naked were good things. It got his brain out of the feedback loop. He got out a mug and waited for the machine to stop dripping. He got out a second mug because there was a good chance Jim was waking up, too.
'And one of us should get coffee in bed the day after. After what we did.' Blair had no idea where that came from. Yeah, he did. Because he was going to wake up to that sight, or something similar, for the rest of his life. And that thought had him fussing with the mugs and staring impatiently at the coffeemaker instead of freaking out.
And he should have been, because it meant he was married. To Jim. And Jim was possessive and jealous and territorial, which was a good thing because Blair was feeling rather negatively about that doofus Bob the Lawyer, and that was because he was jealous and always had been, which also didn't freak him out. Which probably meant Blair had already known. 'Good job, repression boy.' He poured the two cups of coffee and carried them upstairs.
Jim was sitting up in bed, his sheets pulled up to his waist and his eyes wide. "Thank God." He automatically accepted both mugs. His voice was full of relief and the aftermath of fear.
"Are you all right?" Blair climbed onto the bed and faced him, sitting crosslegged. He took back one of the mugs and held it.
"I was convinced you were just waiting for the coffee to brew before packing and leaving. You were breathing so hard on your way down, I could taste the panic." He stared into his cup.
Lie or truth? Lie or truth? Blair's brain scrambled for a decision when Jim's eyes, still wide and worried, looked at his. "I was freaking. But. Not because I woke up and found myself next to a naked you. God, Jim, you have no idea how hot you are in the morning." He had to smile at that.
Jim seemed to shake off his blush. "Then, why?"
"Would you believe that I *really* wanted coffee?" Blair tried to grin.
"Okay, okay. It's not what you think. I mean, yeah. My life is totally not what it was yesterday morning. Yesterday morning, I was a free agent, today I'm God damned *married*. To a man. And my mind is running in circles because I should be scared and freaking and I'm *not*. Mostly." And to prove it, he leaned forward, carefully keeping his cup balanced, and kissed Jim on the lips. Which he meant to last for a second or two, but, with no other point of contact except their lips, lasted what felt like forever and included tongue and messages straight to his groin and it was a miracle neither spilled their coffee.
Jim smiled when they finally parted and sipped his coffee. Blair sipped his own, which was still hot. "Only you. Only you would freak because you're not freaking." He grinned. "If you tell me what made you run downstairs like that, I think I can tell you why you're okay with the rest of it."
Okay, the buying time part of the kiss didn't work. He took a deep breath. "Sex. That's what did it. Thinking about..."
"You mean, you don't want to do...anything? Because if that's true, then kissing me is out, because then we're back to teasing the roommate, and you don't want to tease me like that. And you'd better explain what I'm smelling right now." Jim looked right at Blair's groin, and through the sweatpants.
"Oh, God, no. Last thing I want is a life of celibacy. Because I'm not going to cheat on you, and that parts actually cool. It's. It's." How did he say this? Come on, Mr. Glib. Say it. "Okay. It's. Doing stuff. And picturing *us* and...."
"Running pretty nearly as fast as I could downstairs. Last night was fun, man, and if you want to do that again, I'm your guy. But the whole, you know. Penetration thing." Blair shivered. "I am *so* not ready for that."
Jim shrugged. "That's not a problem here, Chief." He smiled and finished his coffee.
"You don't mind?" Blair stared.
"You're coffee's getting cold." Jim sighed and rubbed his head. "Sex is sex. Hands, mouths, butts. Whatever feels good. And we got time, I'm thinking. But. Maybe you'll miss it?" He peered at Blair.
Okay, there was no mistaking the hope in Jim's voice. Blair had to laugh. "If I do, I'll let you know."
"Any time you want to, for example, nail me to the mattress, just let me know." Nail. Jim. To. The. Mattress. Jim, under him. Him, inside Jim. All that smooth skin, that perfect rear, those legs...Blair, suddenly dry, gulped down his coffee. Jim's grin grew wider, and Blair could see his nostrils flair. Oh, God. Jim would know exactly what his words did to him. Which made it all the hotter.
"So. If I just. Told you to lie on your stomach..."
Jim shot him the sweetest smile in the world and stretched out on the bed, and Blair stared. Hard. Because, yes, he'd seen Jim naked before because Jim had the modesty of a cat, but Blair had never let himself - yeah, *let* - think of Jim as sexy before this morning and he had the most perfect butt Blair had ever seen, and Blair had seen a lot. And it wasn't that Jim's was sexier than any woman's, but it was a different sexy. "You can touch me with your hands, too, Chief."
Oh, God. First he just. Turns over. And. He was warm. And Blair's hands fit the curve of his cheeks, and Blair could feel them, the cheeks, tense and then relax at his touch and Blair was so not ready for this, except his penis had other ideas and was telling him so. Jim hated to be teased, and this was probably in the realm of teasing and. "What do I do now, Jim?"
"Whatever you want. Just do something" Jim's voice had gone all hoarse. And then he relaxed and spread his legs a little, and Blair knew that if he hinted in anyway, Jim would spread himself further and he'd never seen Jim like this before, and he knew an invitation when he saw one. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, and then went between Jim's cheeks, where it was dark and warm, and he found the opening right where it should be and Jim sighed and made himself even more accessible, even pushing himself Blair's finger. Blair had big hands, big fingers and when he'd done this to Sam, when Sam had asked him, she'd said it hurt, but Jim wasn't hurting even as...oh, God... even as Blair worked his way *in*. Jim was making these noises and moving but he was definitely not hurting and suddenly Blair wondered exactly what a Sentinel felt during sex that made Jim react this way. Because when Sam tried it with *him*, all he felt was uncomfortable and eventually, they'd stopped.
And then he was in all the way and, wow, Jim was strong there and Blair wondered how it would feel to have something besides his finger there, and if a finger would be enough, because he could feel the panic rising again. 'You got your finger up Jim's butt and you're still scared about your...Sandburg, you're a mess.' But Jim deserved more. "Rise up a bit, guy. I want to get to your front." And Jim complied so Blair could reach around and grab him. And, oh, yeah, it felt weird to hold another guy, because the shape was still *mostly* familiar, but all the sensation was in his hand, but that hand knew just what to do. And his brain told him it felt good, too, and Blair decided to listen to his brain.
And Blair thought about Jim's hands, and how slender and strong they were, how they could move and he pumped Jim harder, until the force of Jim's orgasm nearly broke Blair's finger, and he thought again how it would feel to put something else in there and nearly came himself.
And Jim's voice was still hoarse, which spoke directly to his groin, when he told Blair to take off his sweatpants, and the next thing he knew, he was lying on his back while Jim used them to clean himself off and then bent forward to take Blair whole, entire, into his mouth and Blair came about two minutes later, which Jim swallowed.
"That's kinda risky, isn't it?" Blair would be the sort of idiot who'd ask that first.
Jim shrugged. "I'm thinking you've never had sex without a condom in your life." Blair nodded at that. Jim grinned and kissed him, hard. He tasted salty and slightly bitter and now Blair wondered what Jim's semen tasted like, and then realized he'd probably find out in fairly short order, and his penis twitched. And it was still scary as hell, but Jim looked as satisfied as his mother's old tabby when she'd finished playing with a mouse, and Blair found he *liked* that look.
He pulled Jim down onto the bed with him. Jim fit in his arms like he was supposed to be there. "Oh, yeah, Sandburg.. We could just do this forever, too."
Forever. There was that word again. Which reminded him. "Okay, Ellison. Enough with the distraction." Jim grinned and punched him lightly on the arm. Blair grinned back. "I told you mine. You tell me yours."
Jim rolled his eyes. "Think about it, Einstein. Besides the sex, what's changed between us?"
"Um, sharing the same bed?"
"Oh, come on, Chief. We've slept closer in a tent. Hell, we had to share a sleeping bag that once. You have do better than that." He stroked Blair's back, making him sigh.
"Like I can think when you do that." He thought. And thought. "Um. Sex is a pretty big deal. And the whole, you know. Forever thing."
"Is that thing new? Come on, get that giant brain in gear." And just to make it harder, Jim started kissing Blair's neck. The bastard.
Forever thing. Blair thought. Commitment. As in not leave each other. Except that yesterday, nothing could have gotten him to leave Jim. As in trust and love, and he knew they'd had that for years. He probed his brain for changes in normal emotions, and they were all about the same, except for one part that he'd never noticed before that said, "sex with Jim! Yay!" that he realized he'd been ignoring until now.
"I'm still a doofus, aren't I?" He nuzzled Jim.
Jim whapped him again. "And a dork. But you're my dork, and that's what counts. Now kiss me, you doofus."