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Mama Deb
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December 2010
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Mama Deb [userpic]

We've become friends with a younger couple in our synagogue. Sort of. He's in his thirties and while not a Fan, definitely has a fannish mind. He reads Pratchett and comics and can talk movies and gets (and makes) the bad jokes. He also reads Anthony, but tastes are tastes, you know?

She's...very sweet. And not stupid. And a wonderful cook. But. All the books were his. All the movies were his. All the games were his. We played Fluxx this afternoon at their house, and she...left to take care of the baby, and let her husband finish the game. It was his first time playing Fluxx, too. (Fluxx, for those who don't know, is a card game where the rules change as you play it. It's lots of fun.) And - she didn't get the jokes.

I remember having a conversation with her when they came to us for a Shabbos lunch. And she was confused when I said I didn't wear make-up because I was too lazy to do that. And I'm not sure why.

Most of my friends, both RL and here, are fannish and/or very bright. I can do more than talk about recipes.

And she isn't stupid. But I can't connect with her at all.


She's lovely. It's me.

bah, i doubt it. sometimes people just take time to connect with.

It's not you. And it's not her. You are both lovely people who don't yet have a common ground with which to relate. You may never have that common ground, but you'll probably get to a point where you can carry on a conversation together without feeling like you're pulling teeth. And if you don't, that's okay. You continue to be you and continue to be gracious and just be okay with it if it doesn't fix the issue.

That's the general plan. She's also very lonely - she rarely goes to synagogue, they don't have many guests and she spends all her time with the 22 month old.

I rarely go to shul, either, but I'm a lot more self-sufficient.