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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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Yom Kippur

I survived, of course.

I didn't have an easy fast this time around. I don't fast well as a rule, but this was harder than usual. Normally, I manage to stand throughout Neilah, but this time, I didn't. I think maybe it was the nap.

First thing was the rain - New York City and the rest of the Northeast is getting, at one swell foop, all the rain it didn't get during the summer. You can't carry an umbrella on a holiday. I don't own a raincoat, or a rainhat. I ended up wearing my winter coat, which is waterproof and has a hood, and my canvas sneakers (can't wear leather shoes on Y"K) didn't get too wet.

Kol Nidre was done beautifully and with tremendous ruach by our friend S, as was the rest of Ma'ariv. I followed my normal practice of doing the private davening from an all-Hebrew Israeli machzor and following the outloud davening with an ArtScroll. I find doing that aids my concentration in both instances. And the rain slackened off for the walk home, so that wasn't so bad.

However, I decided that I'd do better wearing a knit hat instead of a fancy scarf the next day - they dry faster and are more comfortable. I did NOT wear all white, although a number of people did. More settled for one white garment or just an extra-nice Shabbos suit or outfit. The married men, of course, wore their kittels (the white coats they got when they got married, or a replacement if they can't wear the originals anymore.) and tallisim, so they were all set. Instead, I wore an off-white sweater at night, and the next day, I wore a white shell under my jacket (which came with a different skirt than the one I was wearing, but the first skirt developed a hole, and this went beautifully.)

The shul's ac had been left on, so it was *cold*. Many of the women finished musaf wearing their coats at least draped over their shoulders - I know I did. My rebbitzen, who is a lovely lady and who sat next to me, said she liked the cold.

And, again, our ba'alei t'filah, our prayer leaders, did an amazing job. It's so *nice* belonging to a synagogue with deep talent. We didn't have to hire an outside cantor to do the big services. And Yavneh has another major plus - no one *talks* during the davening. No matter how long the service, even the teenage girls either davened or left the sanctuary. And then they all joined in the singing, too. We have amazing ruach and kavanah, and having one of our own at the shtender only helps.

Musaf ended at about 1:30, and mincha would be at 4PM. So we went home and took naps. Well, I took a nap. Jonathan didn't. In retrospect, maybe the nap wasn't a good idea, but honestly, I couldn't stay awake. He left before I did, and when I got dressed again, I wore a long-sleeved white turtleneck instead of the shell. I also changed necklaces (in neither case were they at all precious - one was a beaded double-helix and one was beggar's beads, which means highly polished pebbles. I prefer that sort of jewelry.) I also wore the green shawl I got from ataniell93. (BTW, I wore the maroon one with my suit on the first day of R"H. It got nothing but compliments and it went perfectly. Thank you!)

And the shul was comfortable. :) Ah, well. I wasn't the only one who'd changed, either, and at least two women came back wearing the same sort of hat I was. I did come late enough to miss the mincha Torah reading and all of Yonah, but that was okay - I came in time to say the amidah. That's the part that counts. S did Neilah, and as I mentioned, I did not manage to stand. I was also somewhat light headed and a touch nauseated, but both of those passed eventually. I think that was the nap.

The men danced when we sang "Shana haba b'rushalyim" (Next year in Jerusalem.) The women's side was too crowded - we always get a bigger female turnout. And then we said weekday ma'ariv - led by a young man whose father died on R"H in Israel. His shiva was cut short by Y"K, and his sheloshim will end on Sukkot. And he's not used to leading services, but that will change very quickly. It's heartbreaking, though.

And then there was the break-fast (sponsored in honor of the young man's father.) We broke ours with V-8 juice that had sat under my chair for all of Y"K. And then we each had a slice of cake and went home to bagels and lox. And television, and Jonathan got to play with his birthday present - I got him a Tungsten-E2.

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Comments

It sounds like you had a rewarding day. I remember feeling purified at the end.

I fasted, and that's really all I have to say for myself. :P But I could have not fasted, so, yeah.

I don't know about that. I get the feeling I'm just going through the motions, mostly. I don't feel purified. I should, maybe, but I don't.

i hav easilly question. you are in NY, yes? where do you go to temple?

We go to the Yavneh Minyan, which rents a space in Shulamith, which is a girl's yeshiva.

It's one of the few Modern Orthodox synagogues in Flatbush.

(Note - O synagogues don't use the term "temple". There can be Only One. And that's in ruins right now. Pedantry off.)

huh. i wonder why the onei go to is called "temple beit shalom" probably becauseit is conservative rather then orthodox...

i was curious because i have all tehse relativesin Crown Heights, andused to live there breifly, and thus wondered.

O can be pedantic, as I said. :)

Or did it possibly originate as Reform? I've gotten that same speech from a Conservative rabbi (of the pedantic sort.)

Crown Heights is rather far from where I live, and honestly, Lubavitch bugs me.

And I have a lot of relatives there, too. I have a whole Lubavitcher branch of my family.

not sure, all the conservative shuls i eer went to were temples accordingto thier names...

how comeit bugs you? i mean it bugs me because iam not even close tobeing as religious as they all are. and because they keep tellignme i shoudl be.

but yeah relatives. comes withbeign form Russia as far as ican tell... i go there about once ever 3-4 years at this point...

Let's see. While they do tremendous good - the people who open Chabad houses all over the place are making a huge sacrifice and often do bring people to Orthodoxy who otherwise might not, as well as being a needed resource - they have certain beliefs.

Such as - their way is the best way. Their customs are the best customs, their liturgy is the best one and certainly their teachings are the only ones to worry about. To be fair, most of those who've told me that are kids, or are actually ignorant of other customs (I've surprised people teaching me by referring to other customs and such.) I assume that many do not feel that way.

And then there's the whole Moshiach thing. There's a large subset of Lubavitch who actively believe that their late Rebbe *is* the Messiah. And sometimes it gets scary.

Most of the people I know, btw, do not seem to believe that way - except for this one cousin of mine. When I went to my cousin's grandson's haircutting (this cousin being the niece of the other cousin), there was a minyan for ma'ariv at the end. Only one person in the lot said the "Yechi" line praising the Rebbe the king-moshiach. Everyone else, according to my husband, stood around looking embarrassed (I was chatting with the other women.)

Maybe it's because I came to Orthodoxy in my own way, and not through them. I don't know.

I was light headed too. I stood for most of Neilah, but I had to sit down and put my head between my knees a couple of times.

Ailsa & I got to close the ark once on Kol Nidre. Honors on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur; Ailsa was quietly bouncy.

Very, very cool on the honors. Your synagogue honors husband and wife together instead of each by themselves? Thinking about it - if you do have both sexes to honor, it does makes sense to honor couples together.

Couples together.

I was pretty amazed that I had a good fast so soon after the baby being born. Of course, if I were able to breastfeed, fasting would have been out of the question.

Standing wasn't bad, but letting myself wear the baby in the Bjorn and doing a fair bit of walking up and down definitely helped my back and ankles.

Nursing mothers fast if their doctors permit. I've heard women talk about how they manage (and what a headache they get the next day.)

I'm glad you had a good one, though.

I'm glad you had a good holiday. I think next year I need to not sit by the piles of machzor,as I got a lot of "excuse me"s while I was in the middle of actually able to concentrate.

We have the A/C problem too -- I think they set the shul for the benefit of men wearing wool suits and tallisim. So I just wear a wool suit (or at least a jacket/sweater with a dress) and a tallit -- whee, layering! -- but next year I might drag out thermal tights instead of stockings. Or I might make good on my threat to make and wear a thermal undershirt tallit katan. :)

I always get a headache (I think mine is dehydration rather than caffeine), but I always find YK a tremendously easier fast than Tisha b'Av because there's so much going on at shul to occupy my mind and body.

about the temperature - the synagogue I was at was *freezing*all day. this was at least partly at the rabbi's request, as she's going through The Change (her words, not mine) and was sweating buckets while the congregation was bundling under tallitot and sweaters. I was colder than she was, but as i was on the bima, with lights on me and lots of nervous energy, I stayed warm enough at least while I was leading.

(on the other hand, trying to take an nap between shacharit and mincha was a teeth-chattering experience)

I'm glad the shawls went well!

Me and this other gal ended up trying to sleep on the couch in front of the door between Mussaf and Minchah, because it was so hot, but the breeze came in there. But I couldn't sleep so I ended up reading instead, because it was so hot that the temptation would have been unbearable to drink something if I had gone outside.

Yelena is better at sleeping than me, hahah, she passed right out.

But that's just San Francisco. The time of the year it cools down everywhere else in the world, is the only time it really gets hot.

Just curious - why can't you carry an umbrella on a holiday?

Catherine, terribly ignorant

Aside from the issue of carrying, which is in effect on Shabbat and Yom Kippur but not on other holidays, there's the prohibition against building. Opening an umbrella is erecting a very small, portable tent, and therefore forbidden. Technically, one might be able to open one ahead of time, but that would lead to opening one on Shabbat/yom tov.

Ah - I hadn't thought of the carrying=work thing.

Sudden awful thought - does this mean you can't read on the Sabbath because you'd have to pick up the book?

Catherine, certain that she has missed a nuance here

Carrying is forbidden in a public space. In a private space, such as a house (or in a area enclosed by an eruv, a fence of sorts that takes a public area, within certain limits of the definition of "public", and makes it "private."), one can carry anything that can be used on the day.

That most certainly includes books. Also food, clothing, children...:)

Ah - that makes more sense. Thank you!