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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Bat mitzvah

It was supposed to be last Sunday, but it was postponed because of the blizzard. And a good thing, too - they'd invited us, but the invitation had never arrived. The mother emailed us to tell us of the new time and place, and wondered about the lack of RSVP card. So we went.

What was supposed to be a lunch at a local girl's school became a breakfast at a somewhat further off Jewish Center. Probably a good thing, since now it was less overshadowed by her sister's wedding.

We got her a collection of midrashim on the five Megillot (homiletics with modern commentary on the books of Esther, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs and Ruth) - five volume box set, nicely bound. She will use them in school and her father approved, even if it is a tad weighty for a twelve year old.

We got a ride with friends, and arrived late, but that was okay.

The bat mitzvah had a Purim theme, with place cards on masks, and they gave out copies of the book of Esther on the tables. Which is very, very cool. What was also cool was the seating. It was separate seating, of course, *but* 3/4 of the space was for the women and girls (the bat mitzvah girl's entire grade, I think), with the men scrunched up on one side behind a mechitza. They had a female photographer, and the speeches were by mom, older sister and bat mitzvah girl - no men. Ahava's speech was clearly written for last week, but no one would expect her to write a new one in a week, so that was fine.

It also meant that there were two circles for the dancing - one for the girls, one for the women. The men managed a small on on their side. As I said - so cool. And then the seventh graders took over, playing games, doing a sort of reel and then a line dance. They were so cute.

And, you know. Breakfast is nice - they had bagels, cream cheese, fish, plus hot eggs, potatoes and french toast, and coffee and such. And if Ahava was a tad over dressed - she wore the gown she wore at her sister's wedding - it's her bat mitzvah. She had the right to do that, and she looked like a princess.


Interesting. I didn't realize bat mitzvahs were celebrated like that in Modern Orthodox circles.

Yeah - but there are no set customs for b'nos mitzvah even in MO circles, and I've been to very few. In that same family, the middle daughter celebrated hers not only with the party (as we'd just moved into the area a month before, we had not been invited) but she'd also given a d'var after services in the synagogue. Ahava did NOT give a d'var in our synagogue. She did get the bar/bat mitzvah gift our shul gives - a set of Mishnah Brurah.

Also, this family is somewhat to the right of Modern Orthodox, and the girl goes to a rather right wing school. We didn't expect the separate seating, and Jonathan thought it was bizarre, but there it was.

LOL! To me it makes perfect sense!

Amongst Chassidim, the bas mitzvah is a private thing within families. One lady I know bakes challah with her daughter on the day of her bas mitzvah and the daughter does the mitzvah of taking challah and making the bracha.


You seem to have substituted Proverbs for Ruth.

Thank you! :) I knew I got one of theme wrong.


We got her a collection of midrashim on the five Megillot

Which collection? I think it's a wonderful gift, given the Purim theme.

jonbaker got them at the YU Seforim sale, so I'm not sure.

She's a bright and studious girl, so it's the sort of thing she will use, and her parents approved. We always give something of that nature to b'nai mitzvah - kids from religious homes get things they'll use in school. One special young man got a Shas desk set, for example, and we gave a set of twins a Chumash and a Mishnah(and to their mother's delight, they fought over the Mishnah.) Kids from less religious homes or who aren't so lomdishe get English works like the Kitov books about Yom Tov - something they will actually appreciate and use.

And I'm saying "we", but the gift giver in the family is my husband. At best, I wrap them.

Midrawh HaMevuar, the small brown ones. I think the full-size ones have more footnotes or something, but that was $100, and the small set was $46.