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Mama Deb
mamadeb
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December 2010
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Foo

Okay, you have to know this. I *hate* cutsey-poo things. I really do.

And this, to me, is really cutsey-poo. I know some of you will disagree, and maybe think it's lovely. I just. Ick.

My brother-in-law's future sister-in-law just sent us a square of fabric to decorate to be part of a personalized chuppah (wedding canopy.) She thinks it'll be great because she had a girlfriend who did this.

And - my goodness. How *twee.*

And, well. We were hoping they'd use the same chuppah we did.

Their grandfather's tallis. You know. Family. Continuity. Tradition - something that will be sadly missing from this wedding otherwise. We haven't suggested it, of course.

It *is* their wedding and they have the right to decide what to use.

Except - they will now HAVE to use this chuppah because it'll be made by all their friends and family. Whether they want to or not. And. Foo.

Edit: M does know about it - he told Jonathan they were going to do what he called an "AIDS quilt" sort of thing, but Jonathan didn't realize it would include us, so he never said. So. Well. And he doesn't think it's so bad, either.

Comments

My husband and I love our friends and family, but we did not for one moment trust their collective aesthetic tastes -- witness some of the wedding gifts we got! -- enough to allow them to determine any major elements of my wedding. (Even the wedding party had fairly free rein in terms of clothing, but then we didn't consider everyone else's clothes to be a major element.) The chuppah-square thing therefore frightens me. Heck, letting someone else plan my shower frightened me, and that was well-nigh unavoidable. ;)

Letting someone else plan how our chuppah was to be constituted would've been entirely outside the pale. But I think there are three issues here: one, that the sister-in-law may be presuming (if the bride and groom don't know about her plans); two, that you'd rather they have the option of using the family tallit (which it was perhaps rude of someone not to have inquired about -- whether the bride, the groom, or the SIL I can't honestly tell); three, that the whole wedding plan is clearly annoying you on too many levels to name and this is only the latest symptom.

Hey, have you considered decorating your square with closely grouped stripes on each end, some sewn-on fringe on the ends parallel to the stripes, and knotted strings on the four corners? Or am I just being all cutesy-poo? ;)

Apparently, I was wrong about the surprise, but that seemed to be implied in the letter.

And, yeah, there are other annoying things, but this - this would bother me no matter what. I really don't like wedding innovations.

Jonathan is going to use photographs of their grandparents.

A fake tallis - hey, now there's a thought.

Hey, have you considered decorating your square with closely grouped stripes on each end, some sewn-on fringe on the ends parallel to the stripes, and knotted strings on the four corners?

What a great idea!

I once received a wedding invitation accompanied by a piece of fabric. I was pretty clueless, and the request that came with it said something like "please add your blessings" or words to that effect. So I did, in fact, write on it and send it back. Only much, much later did it occur to me that maybe I was being asked to produce art, and the cloth had an even weave presumably for the benefit of needleworkers. I am not an embroiderer or cross-stitcher or whatever, though, and that didn't even occur to me until it was too late. (I wasn't able to attend the wedding, so I didn't see how it all came out.)