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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Randomness, of a sort

1. These hate memes? I wouldn't even know about them if people didn't post about them. Because, um. They haven't brought themselves to my attention. Which is producing in me the oddest emotions.

A. Good. They're nasty things, and I don't want to see them. Just knowing they exist at all skeeves me out.
B. Am I that low on the fandom radar?
C. If someone actually hates me, I'll never know.

i. Good
ii. Shouldn't I know?
ii. I'm too low on the fandom radar to register anyway.
a. Good
b. Feels lousy

Major conflicts, you see.

2. I picked up comics yesterday, including both issues of Ion.
I'm a Kyle fan - I'm a Green Lantern fan in general, and I even like Guy, but I like Kyle a lot and I think he's been given a raw deal by the writers and fans. He replaced *Hal*, who has always been a popular hero (I'm a big fan of his as well), and who himself had been dealt with in a lousy fashion, and so he was resented. He was also given an ugly uniform, and we know what happened to his first girlfriend. And his second. And his third. And he was always treated as the "kid" by the JLA - him and Wally, but they knew Wally and they knew his uncle and so they could accept him.

But Kyle's concept - there's the thing. He never wanted to be a superhero. He never idolized them, other than normal kidstuff (what I'd assume would happen in a universe with superheroes). At most, he wanted to draw them. He was a decent guy, talented enough in his chosen field if nothing special, honest, not especially ambitious. Just a normal guy living a normal life and not really wanting anything else. And then he's handed a ring, completely randomly. He would never have been in line for a ring if the Corps were still around - he's not fearless. He's *normal*. But if he had been, he'd have had the Corps and Kilowag to train him. And, of course, he wouldn't have followed the whole Parallax thing.

Yeah, I know Alan Scott was also alone, but he's a very different man from a very different time.

So, this ordinary, normal, decent guy gets handed a ring. Not just a ring - a weapon. The most powerful weapon in the universe. And there are no others at all - there is no Corp. And there is no control - yellow doesn't bother it. And whatever he thinks of happens. And Kyle's an artist, so he has no shortage of imagination. Good thing he's a decent guy, no? Because that much power is terrifying and should be. And if he weren't a decent guy, it would be very, very bad.

But now he's supposed to be a hero. And he doesn't want to be. His life is changed in ways he can't even imagine - the secret identity thing (which he is NOT good at) for example, and the new community he's joined. And because of who he is now, his girlfriend is killed. His future girlfriends will be part of that community, and. Well.

But he's a decent guy, even in grief, and he makes the best of things. He's forced to train with the Titans and to show that he can be a hero (which is probably even more galling if you don't want to be one.) He nearly gets killed himself a number of times. And his ring is really, really powerful,and makes things happen he doesn't want. And he's still just an ordinary, decent guy.

He's not Superman, born with abilities. He's not Batman, driven, obssessed. He's not even Wally, who wanted to be a hero like his future uncle. He didn't say, "Wow, I have these powers. I get to be a superhero." He said, "I have this ring. I have to use it in the right way."

And he manages it. He learns to be a hero. He gets accepted, more or less, by the superhero community. He gets his own villains, he gets a new life in NYC, where he even gets accepted as an artist. He learns that people, like his assistant Terry, can get hurt without it being his fault. He gets extremely powerful, which scares him - he becomes Ion the first time. And he takes that power and uses it for too much good, as Superman shows him. And then he starts the Corp again, and he's not alone. He thinks. John and Guy and Hal come back, and he's just one of many. And then Donna dies and Jade dies, and now he's changing again.

He used to have the most powerful weapon in the galaxy at his control. But he lost control of his own life when he got that ring, and right now - now it's even worse. He doesn't know who he is, or what's going on, and he's immensely more powerful than he was before. And he never wanted to be a hero.

He got a very raw deal. And he's all alone again.


Reading the new series has made me so sad. I really ache for Kyle. He so deserves a little happiness and a hell of a lot less weird in his life.

I really worry about DC's plans for him now.

One thing I missed saying was that I love the title the other GLs have for him - "Torch Bearer." Because he was - he kept them alive with dignity and grace, no matter what was thrown at him.

He deserves so much more.

I hear you about being low on the fandom radar. It's an odd feeling, isn't it? But I'm glad I don't know where to find these hate ljs; if I did, I would be unbearably tempted to go trolling for my name or the names of people I like, and then I would be angry and sad. As it is, I can shrug and do my best to move along, knowing that life is too short for this kind of nonsense anyway.

I can *guess* how to find them, but I have no wish to go trolling through the enormous comment threads - I don't troll through the enormous coment threads of love memes, either. Which means that if I ever get any - I also will never find out.

Why does it feel lousy? The section of fandom that participates in hatefests is not a section in whose estimation I want to be held high (or even on whose radar I care about registering at all). What a disgusting concept. When I dislike people and say so in public, I say so with my name attached, and I count on people who feel the need to say so about me to do the same. But in general, there's no need -- because why would we spend that kind of energy excoriating people we really don't care about? That just betrays a level of investment in what people we allegedly dislike think of us, doesn't it?

Like I said over at cereta's:

FAITH: I hate him!
KATE: That's a pretty strong emotion for someone you said you didn't even like.
FAITH: I hated what he did.
KATE: Good, 'cause that's what I told him when he dropped off the flowers.
FAITH: You told him that I hated him?!
KATE: Can't stand him, huh?

I don't especially want to be on these people's radar, no.

It's more I'm getting the feeling I'm not on the radar at all.

It's a junior high school feeling - some notice is better than none at all, even if you'd rather not be noticed. Which makes no sense, but that's junior high.

But this is not the whole population of those doing the noticing. These clowns haven't noticed you, but other people have. ([raises hand, for example]) I recall and sympathize with the junior high thing, but man, we were all correct to stop being twelve.

From another angle: why not choose to believe they know who you are, but don't hate you?

As I said, it makes no sense.

And, yeah. When I get my head out of 8th grade, I realize that people know who I am. (HUGS).

As for why I choose to believe they don't know me - because it's better than that they know who I am and are indifferent. Except, yeah, it's better than hatred.

A lot of people know who you are. Really.

I do know this, in my head. I do.

I, too, am completely out of the loop on these things. And am happier, honestly. Though I applaud those who are in the loop and who are coming out against them in general.

That's because it *is* much better. Those things are ugly.

Honestly? I don't see how anyone could hate you. Of course, the hate memes turn up all sorts of malice directed at people you'd think would be the last on a hate list, so you never know. But still. Think of it this way: people know you, but don't hate you. Because I'm fairly sure you're well-known, if not an actual BNF. ;)

I think I was at a fairly low point when I wrote that post. I'm sorry about that - eesh, I was whiny. (Not the Kyle part - I stand by that.)

I used to be fairly well-known. I know that. I don't think I am so much anymore, but that's largely because fandom has grown and I don't write as much as I used to.

Hate memes? Never heard of that. Not missing it. :-)