Mama Deb (mamadeb) wrote,
Mama Deb
mamadeb

Alone

jonbaker is spending the next few days with his parents in their country house. They had to be in the city this weekend, so when they drive back, he'll go with them, and he'll take the bus back on Thursday.



I'm staying home alone. I will miss him - in fifteen plus years of marriage, we have spent only a few nights apart. But. This is a good thing. Every summer, we visit his parents. And every summer, we get into a big, screaming fight about it. I have nothing against his parents, but spending several days in the country with very little to do, no control over the television and limited computer use (they only have dialup, which is both slow and ties up the phoneline. And cellphones don't help, as they're on the top of a mountain with no antennae nearby) is excruciating for me. I'm a city girl. Rolling mountains of green trees are lovely, as are black, star-filled night skies. But not for days on end. Also, I have bad hay fever and there are times I literally can't breathe up there.

And both Mom and I have strong personalities that tend to clash at times - plus while we're on the same diet,nominally, she's stricter than I am and will now watch every bite I eat like a hawk - and she will lecture at every meal. There's also the conversation thing - I say something. She jumps in with her own tangential topic before I get a chance to say more and gets upset when I try to wrest it back. Or go to another topic in general. And her kashrut is...casual at best.

Jonathan was told to take his own lunch for the trip up because they will eat rest-stop food. Or diner food. Which means he'll sit in a treif restaurant with a paper cup of coffee or soda, watching them eat treif. And somehow, it's his fault. Or possibly mine. Because I've made him so superfrum he only eats kosher cheese now. Or something.

Anyway, he does want to visit his parents - he *likes* the country. He'll be dependent on his father for any sort of escape from the house, since he doesn't drive, but he'd get to spend more time with his father, so that's a plus. And while her kashrut is casual, I do trust it most of the time, and she's a good cook. He might starve anyway because, since she and Daddy like smaller portions, she give them to everyone, but he'll survive. (I used to make sure to get a couple of pounds of pistachio nuts - comfort food, entertainment *and* nourishment. I can't do that any more because of my own diet.)

So he's going without me - his parents are fine with that. In fact, I suspect they're thrilled to not have me moping around being miserable. I would be. And we did not have a big screaming fight, either.

I'm not happy being alone, but this really is the best solution.
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