?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Mama Deb
mamadeb
.:::.:....... ..::...:
Mama Deb [userpic]
I'm at work

This is not a normal thing, as today is Thursday, and I do not work on Thursdays. I shop for groceries and plan for Shabbat and go to doctors and run other errands (and supervise the cleaning person), but I do not work.

I'm working today. jonbaker, armed with a note in Spanish, is waiting for the cleaning person. I'll get the laundry and do the shopping I need to do because this is the weekend of my brother-in-law's wedding. Which means a trip to Northern Massachusetts. We're staying in a B&B in Springfield, which is a couple blocks from Modern Orthodox synagogue. We have a dinner invitation and will take food for Shabbat lunch (and lunch for the road and dinner on Saturday and something to eat before the wedding on Sunday and then we need food for the trip home on Monday - the B&B provides a kosher continental breakfast.)

Saturday night, I've been invited to a "bachlorette party"in a bar, which I'll probably go to, while my husband joins the other men in watching the kids.

Would it be weird to take knitting? Or will a bar be too dark? Probably. I have no idea what this will be like, and I don't plan on drinking anything other than Diet Coke, since I'll have a 40 minute drive afterwards. But, you know. She'll be family and it would be weird of me not to go.

I *am* taking the knitting to the wedding, because it's a non-Orthodox (actually, non-religious) wedding. I don't do mixed dancing - and that includes being in the same circle as men. That's probably technically fine if I'm between two women, but what's to stop a man from getting between me and one of the other women? So, the best I can hope for is five minutes of dancing with Jocelyn, and what will I do the rest of the time? Jonathan is in the same boat. (And, no, I won't dance with him, either.)

It's one of the hardest things about non-Orthodox weddings, but there's nothing that can be done.

And honestly, there are worst things that can happen.

Like - last spring, we got a square of muslin in the mail from Jocelyn's sister. We were to decorate it, and send it back and it would be sewn into the chuppah. I know a lot of people think that's a wonderful thing, and I can understand that, though it's not my taste.

Jonathan worked very hard collecting and scanning family pictures and arranging them just so and then getting them on iron-on transfers and putting them on the muslin, and it looked lovely (I helped with the photo arranging.) His parents, conversely, wrote names on the square. We mailed them in, and Kim got them and sewed them all into the chuppah and backed it with batik that Jocelyn has brought from Africa and fedexed the chuppah to Mitch

Using the wrong address.

And they don't even know what the wrong address was (apparently, she didn't keep the receipt.) So this handmade, irreplaceable (even if there were time) work of love is lost. Which is sad and awful. They're going to use my brother-in-law's tallis on poles instead, but it won't be the same.

Comments

My daughter had mixed and separate dancing at her wedding...the crowd was mixed as well. The men did circle dancing separately but couples, including a few religious couples, danced together as well. Not what dh and I do. So my friends and I danced.

You can go and clap and sing and talk to the other guests...really, put on a smile and show them what being an Orthodox Jew is all about! You would be surprised at the lack of knowledge among different people. Sometimes it is the smile and pleseant conversation that brings people to a deeper understanding of their own lives, and also helps them grow spiritually.

>>Saturday night, I've been invited to a "bachlorette party"in a bar, which I'll probably go to, while my husband joins the other men in watching the kids.<<

Your *husband*?? Did you and The Boy get married when I wasn't looking? Or are we talking "common law" spousal arrangements?

Matt?

You do know who I am, don't you?

Erm. Uh. Oops...

Wrong Deb. Sorry. My bad.

I don't do mixed dancing - and that includes being in the same circle as men. That's probably technically fine if I'm between two women, but what's to stop a man from getting between me and one of the other women?

We briefly had some mixed circle dancing at our wedding (there was no mechitza but for the most part people self-segregated by gender). Them that were dancing and wanted to stay between two same-gender dancers did the same thing that I've done when dancing next to someone I don't want to be separated from: when someone tries to break in to the circle there, hold hands extra tight for a moment and let them go on to the next pair of hands.

Oh how awful about the muslin. Seems whoever got it should have notified them and they could have used the return address to send it back.