I'm waiting for Jonathan to call. He's at a synagogue board meeting, all dressed for the funeral. When he can go, he'll call me and I'll call a car service and pick him up and we'll go to Rabbi Block's funeral service, which will be held in the synagogue he'd built and ran until he retired. I'm all dressed, too, and it's hard to dress for a funeral. I don't want to wear black, but I don't want to wear bright colors, and I need to find tops without stains (hard to come by) that aren't the nice sweatshirts I wear to work and skirts that go with them. I discovered a skirt I thought didn't fit anymore did, and it's gray, so that works. I should also change to a smaller purse, I guess.
Silly things to worry about, I know. But. It's all awkward. Herbert was a witness at our wedding, rearranging a very busy schedule, because he was the Jewish liasion for the then-current mayor of New York City. Which he became at the age of 24. And which was eventually a disaster because of an explosion of racial tensions later that same summer. So, when that mayor was voted out of office, to be replaced by King Rudy, Herbert went to law school. And he got married.
But he didn't invite us to his wedding. He didn't invite a lot of friends. He had what he admits was a very mistaken idea - invite people who might help his career later instead. But it hurt to read his wedding announcement in the Times. It's not the only reason we haven't been close in years, but it's one of them. So, it will be awkward.
But Jonathan needs to go, and it's the right thing to do all around. So I'm sitting here in my grey skirt and green sweater and a grey hat waiting for the phone to ring.