I was exhausted Monday night. That's my story and I'm sticking with it, as to why I was a complete and utter idiot that night.
Which is when I used a meat spatula to cook a pareve soup in a dairy pot. It was only to stir the initial vegetables *and* there was neither meat nor milk around when I did so, but what I should have done is call my rabbi.
What I did do was put the meat spatula down and pick up its blue, dairy brother and use that to finish the soup. And then I took part of this soup and transferred it to another dairy pot so that I could add fish. And then I served that soup with the fish in our dairy bowls and added grated cheese (would have been better had the soup been cooked longer. I had fairly rocklike veggies.)
And I thought it was all fine until the next morning when we started thinking about it. I mean, I was half convinced I'd lost the initial spatula, which was a pain because these spatulas are heat resistant silicon and make a tremendous difference in cooking. Also, not cheap. But worth it. But that was all.
And then I started thinking, and Jonathan suggested we ask a rabbi. So I spent the day formulating a email and as I did, it got worse and worse. I used meat bowls (clean and cold) to transport the veggies to the pot. I used nonkasherable utensils. I felt like I'd treifed half my kitchen.
It took until 10 that night to reach my rabbi. I had the wrong email address and he wasn't home until then. But, to his credit, he did call me right away. And he's a brilliant man. And I told him the sad story and he said, "Treat the soup as fleishig, but nothing is treif." In other words, use disposable or fleishig bowls and don't put in the cheese.
This is a lesson. This is why we're supposed to call rabbis instead of working it out on our own. In order not to take a chance, most people tend to "rule" strictly for themselves, often far more strictly than required. Rabbis tend to rule appropriately to the people, but always on the side of leniency when possible - and one of the rules says that you do what the rabbi says - to keep from being too strict.
Humans are funny, aren't they?
(Meanwhile, my husband offered to purchase dinner because all I had was the soup. And I thought that meant take out. Except he came home with a premade noodle kugel and some raw chicken breasts. At after ten pm. Next thing I know, I'm making the kitchen meat and panfrying chicken at 10:30 at night. Came out pretty good, too. But. Grr.