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Mama Deb
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Mama Deb [userpic]
Wedding dresses

I'm watching this program called "Say Yes to the Dress".

It's a candid reality show taking place in a huge bridal shop in Manhattan.

And - almost all of the dresses are strapless. None of them have sleeves at all.

What happened? It's like even if they wanted a choice, they didn't get it.


That would drive me crazy. I never wear strapless and would hate the idea of being forced into one. Boo!

I don't get that either. At my age strapless would be a bad choice anyway but you'd think there'd be something else.

I don't know if it's the same in the UK, but I would have hated it - strapless and me do not mix, particularly when I married (think "A" cup if you are being generous. My wedding dress had long sleeves with flared cuffs; excellent for autumn in the Great British Climate.

Those gowns seemed designed to take smaller girls and make them look larger. It was not a pretty look on many of them. It was on others, of course.

And autumn in Great Britain -

One "consultant" (that is, saleswoman), after finding out that the wedding was to be in New York State, outside(!) in February(!!) asked, "Is strapless okay?"

The bride not only did NOT question her sanity, she said, "Yes." And the dress, while objectively beautiful, did not flatter her as much as another style would have.

("Oh. We have some lovely ones in winter white or champagne velvet, with faux fur trim." Except I'm pretty sure they didn't.)

I've been noticing that trend over the last five years or so as my friends are getting married and I don't get it either. I very rarely find strapless dresses attractive and it's another thing that's really hard to make work for different body types.

Yes, and they showed those dresses, including dresses I thought were, well, tacky, to women of all sizes, regardless.

It meant that women looking for a unique and memorable look, ended up (with one exception) looking like all the others, with the only difference being the size of the skirts and trains.

I will say that I liked the very simple veils they were showing.

I occasionally look at wedding blogs, for the pretty pictures of dresses. They frequently snark about the strapless dresses and go out of their way to find ones with sleeves, because...really.

Yes, exactly. And there are lovely dresses with sleeves out there. I know - I've seen them. And they look much more bridey to my eyes, but then when I bought my wedding gown 17.5 years , I didn't even have to ask about sleeves. And I didn't buy it in Flatbush; I bought it in Easton, PA. They showed me dressed that barely needed alteration without the word "modesty" coming up.

Oh gosh, that is so annoying. It's not only a tznius issue for me, (though it would be a huge issue, most of the affairs i go to are frum) some of us aren't blessed with perfectly toned arms and shoulders, some of us have...a little more than we would like and would like that more covered!

hahaha, I posted up above on the challenge of being in someone's wedding if you're modest and they're not :) It's awful, where do people who are really truly frum buy wedding clothes?

When a friend was getting married six years ago and showed me her dress, I said "Strapless? Don't get me wrong, it's pretty, but..." and she replied that ALL wedding dresses are strapless these days. Bridesmaids' dresses too, mostly. I was somewhat shocked--I would have looked all right in strapless myself when I got married, but it doesn't feel formal enough or as if it's taking the momentousness of the occasion into account.

I've seen some lovely brides in strapless gowns, but it doesn't feel right to me. And I've also seen some brides who would've looked FINE, if they hadn't been carrying themselves like they knew they didn't look right.

It's really sad - not that there are strapless gowns, but that the choices aren't there.

That is odd. I just went and looked at a seamstress friend's website, and those are mostly sleeveless too. http://www.consciouselegance.co.uk/index.php?page=60

But so many others have sleeves, and all of them are beautiful!

One bride I know bought her wedding dress from a Mormon wedding store, not because she especially wanted modest but because she especially didn't want strapless and the Mormon store was the only one that had more than one available. Many of the Mormon "modest" designs are gorgeous, and they can be made with long or short sleeves. She bought something similar to 2272B on this page, only with full-length sleeves.

Oh nice! Some of the bodices are a bit to teeshirty for me, but I like those a lot better than most of the stuff you find in bridal shops.

When we got married (eight years ago), I had a lot of trouble finding a dress that I considered sufficiently modest -- and my standards are looser than I presume yours are. I did eventually find full sleeves, non-open back, and a neckline that was lower than I wanted but not actually revealing. (I was given to understand that they would be improving that in the alterations, but I didn't detect much difference.) I was really appalled at most of the dresses I saw.

Isn't that show addictive? It's like you want to look away, and you just can't.

When I was out shopping for wedding and bridesmaid dresses with my friend M last year, most of the dresses we saw were strapless. But a lot of them also came with optional straps or detachable cap sleeves, depending on the design. (All of us in M's wedding party chose to wear straps of some sort--mine and M's just snapped in, and the other bridesmaid, who was about four months pregnant at the time of the wedding, actually had thicker straps sewn in by the bridal shop's seamstress.) But, yeah, it was hard to find anything that had actual, built-in sleeves, and what few I do remember were on bridesmaid dresses, not bridal gowns.