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Mama Deb
mamadeb
.:::.:....... ..::...:
Mama Deb [userpic]
100 memes

Yeah, well.



1. I'm the only girl out of four kids.

2. My father was disappointed - he'd have preferred the other way around. So, apparently, was my mom's obstetrician, who thought my next to oldest brother was a girl until he received undeniable proof.

3. My oldest brother, eight years older than I am, is severely autistic. We have no way of determining his IQ, but he was falsely assumed to be retarded for many years.

4. Even though he lived at home, I never talked about Jeffrey to anyone until I started college. My grandparents, who loved him very much, encouraged me in this, but it was also the fear that, "If my brother is retarded, people will think I am, too."

5. I still donate money to the summer camp that was my parents only respite until they finally needed to find a residential placement for him, in his twenties.

6. I have four New Jersey teaching certificates: English, Elementary, History and Special Ed.

7. My only fulltime teaching job was in a Catholic school. I had the eighth grade. My subjects were English and social studies, which I taught to three different grade levels.

8. The name of the school was Christ the King. I had a great deal of difficulty saying that until I heard my 8th graders say it in a way that sounded like the name of a school, not a person.

9. While I taught there, I made a point of not eating milk and meat *or* pork products around any of the students, teachers or parents.

10. After school, I'd head right to Burger King or Wendy's for a bacon double cheeseburger.

11. That is the one thing I miss the most now that I keep kosher for real.

12. My final major in college was history, with minors in education and English.

13. My original major was Ceramic Engineering, and my second one was Computer Science.

14. Math killed me for both of those.

15. I have always been a fan.

16. I have always been a slasher.

17. I met my first real boyfriend at a science fiction convention.

18. I broke up with him at the next one we attended, a month later.

19. He introduced me to my husband at the third one, although that wasn't his intention.

20. I avoided him for the rest of the convention, while Jonathan tried to console him. This wasn't easy, as we, and a half dozen other people, were sharing a room.

21. There is nothing more awkward than sharing a bed with your new boyfriend of two days, however platonically, with your old boyfriend sleeping on the floor at the foot of that bed.

22. We were already in love at that point.

23. We were discussing marriage by our second date.

24. We got officially engaged less than a year later, after spending a week at a SCA event.

25. Our friends and family greeted the news with variations of "It's about time." or "You mean you weren't already?"

26. I was severely depressed for our first couple of years of marriage. Therapy and group therapy helped a lot.

27. Writing fanfic helped more.

28. Two months before I got married, I decided to stay with my next older brother, who was a lawyer living in Battery Park City at the time, and look for a job. I was going to stay a week.

29. I found one. It started the following week. I stayed with my brother.

30. By the end of the month, we found an apartment near where I worked. I never moved back to my parents' house.

31. The job evaporated while I was on my honeymoon.

33. I came back from my Bermuda honeymoon with Irish whiskey, china tchotchkes for our mothers and a cane.

34. It was a injury I'd sustained in college that came back to haunt me. It still occasionally does.

35. We decided to start to try to have kids when I was thirty years old, after three years of marriage.

36. I already knew I had polycystic ovaries, so we went straight to the medical specialists.

37. Turns out we're both infertile. Oddly enough, I'm grateful for the double whammy. Neither of us have to bear the guilt alone.

38. Three IVF cycles, the only option we felt we had for various reasons, were enough.

39. Oddly enough, my periods have only been in anyway "regular" in the last few years, starting about a year after the treatments ended. By "regular", I mean averaging about 6 weeks.

40. I have had entire years go by without one.

41. I still don't know how couples where the wife is actually on a more or less four week schedule handle family purity.

42. Last summer, I went on two trips. I had to go to mikveh during both of those trips. I've also twice had to go on Dec. 25.

43. My family was completely nonreligious.

44. However, for lifecycle events, they chose Orthodox rituals.

45. This meant that I had no problems having an Orthodox wedding.

46. Everything I learned about keeping kosher, I learned from books or from my mother-in-law.

47. I'm very grateful that I had someone in my life who could teach me, and, after watching friends of mine struggle through all the ins and outs of Passover alone (her family isn't religious, and he was a recent convert), I called her up and told her that.

48. She also encouraged me to go to Drisha, a religious school for adult women. This also helped me out of my depression.

49. On my first day there, I was handed a photocopy of a page of Talmud. In Hebrew and Aramaic. I knew the Hebrew alphabet, having learned it shortly before getting married.

50. At the end of the three week session, I was crying tears of frustration all over my teacher.

51. By the next year, I was studying independently with a friend, and she was the one using the translation, albeit to help me with every other word.

52. For the next several years, my birthday present from my mother-in-law was a fall class at Drisha.

53. This ended when, after ten years, I got a part time job and could no longer take the time to travel to Manhattan from Brooklyn.

54. I am the receptionist at a real estate agency. Or the secretary. My title varies. I work three days a week.

55. I answer phones, assign clients to agents and manage the listings, plus whatever other odd jobs come along.

56. I'm also the resident computer "expert."

57. I got the job through connections. My boss is a member of my old synagogue. Another member saw that she'd lost her receptionist and knew I was contemplating getting a job, so he suggested me. My job interview took place on the sidewalk outside the agency.

58. It was five minutes walk from my house.

59. I moved to a different neighborhood. It's now a thirty minute busride and walk.

60. I moved September 30, 2001.

61. We delayed the move by two weeks so we could spend the High Holidays in our old synagogue.

62. We ended up moving the Sunday before a holiday.

63. The post office was still in chaos. We never did get our mail forwarded and still stop at the old house to pick stuff up.

64. We had sixty boxes of books. The movers complained about it to a friend of ours during that holiday.

65. We have more books now.

66. My dad read Analog SF magazine, and I read it after him. I also read his Heinleins and his Gor books.

67. When he caught me reading the Gor books, he told me not to. I listened about as much as an eleven year old would.

68. I discovered Star Trek in fifth grade.

69. To wean me off of it, my older brother (seven years older) bought me a boxed set of Asimov paperbacks. I fell in love, but never deserted Trek.

70. I also discovered comics at about that time. It was a matter of going to the candystore and buying whatever my allowance would stand. We also came into a collection of older comics donated by my father's nephews.

71. They were all DC. I became loyal and didn't read Marvel.

72. In 1976, we moved to New Jersey from Brooklyn. Comics stopped being readily available. I stopped reading them.

73. In 2000, I went to see the X-Men movie while on a trip. The day after we came back, I overcame sticker shock and bought comics. They were DC.

74. I read Image, Top Cow and CrossGen now. Still no Marvel. I also have a huge collection of issues and trades. I'm still trying to catch up on 25 years.

75. I learned to look at subtext with my best friend in junior high.

76. We met at a hotel pool in Pennsylvania, but it turned out she lived in Brooklyn, and loved Star Trek.

77. We spent hours torturing her favorite character. Chekov. Because I understood that it felt good to make your favorite character suffer.

78. We both loved Batman, too.

79. I have no idea where she is now.

80. I wrote my first slash as an adult six years ago. I wanted to write before then, but believed I couldn't.

81. I based it on a song, and I killed a major character.

82. I've killed a number of characters, both original and canon, since.

83. The hardest ones were characters I'd created for other purposes, and then the plot demanded they die.

84. Writing sex scenes only bothered me in my first story.

85. Up until my last couple, I've made it a point to not use language that couldn't be used on broadcast television.

86. I still prefer to do that, but I'm beginning to realize it's not always feasible.

87. I'll read gen fic, and some het fic, but when I read hetfic, I skip the sex scenes. I also tend to do that with f/f slash.

88. I'm a type II diabetic, controlled with glaucophage and diet.

89. My preferred mode of dress is a full, loose skirt, a sweatshirt or longsleeved t-shirt and sneakers. Luckily, I can wear that to work.

90. I do not wear pants in public.

91. I have always preferred skirts, so this was not a major change for me.

92. I keep my hair covered in public. In public means "where non-related male eyes can see me."

93. To that end, I have a large collection of hats and snoods. Snoods are like long turbans. I do not wear wigs or scarves - wigs are expensive; I look bad in scarves and can't tie them.

94. My hair is actually waistlength, but I fasten it up with a large barrette.

95. My hair is only marginally longer than my husband's.

96. This does make him stand out in our highly religious neighborhood.

97. I also have always loved hats.

98. My father passed away over three years ago. My most recent thought was, "He'd really have loved Stargate."

99. My mother is doing very well right now, but she will never understand my love of science fiction, except as I got it from my father.

100. I am a Mets fan.

Comments
You're right

We have a surprising amount in common.

Knew there was a reason I liked you other than the comfy virtual lap :)

sharkie

Thanks for sharing this.

Somehow I had it in my head that you were FFB. If you ever feel inclined, I'd be interested in hearing about the journey.