I don't go to synagogue. I don't go to my parshah shiur (and everyone apparenlty misses me. I don't know.) I barely have guests for yom tov - Jonathan wants to ask people if we can join THEM for Friday night. I read, I sleep, i surf the web and I write.
At least I'm writing. That's a good thing, right? And I'm doing the secretary stuff for the shul board and I'm DOING that, so that's also good. But I'm not even knitting right now.
I see ads for decent jobs and DO NOTHING - I freeze and my stomach hurts.
It's been over a year.
jonbaker asked if he should ask his old therapist if she had a slot.
I told him "Yes." Because I know this feeling. I remember entire weeks spent doing nothing, cooking endless chicken legs and broccoli for dinner.
Because it would feel so good to just let go and let things happen, and I don't want that again.