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Mama Deb
mamadeb
.:::.:....... ..::...:
Mama Deb [userpic]
Much better now

We spent Shabbat at home. Our friends from our shul gave us just the right amount of very good food for the day - enough for two generous meals plus leftovers, and for take-out was very edible indeed. I made the mistake of letting him walk to shul alone on Friday night. It was very difficult for him. He asked a friend to walk him home, though.

I took Jonathan to shul in the morning - I have no idea how long it's been since I've been to shul at the begining of services instead at the end - so he could say the early kaddishes. We left early and took naps and basically kept quiet for the rest of the day. I walked him to shul for afternoon service and stayed for a bit of the ritual third meal and went home so I could get things ready as soon as I could.

Interesting thing - people on our block assumed there would be a ma'ariv (evening) service in our home, and in fact, a full minyan came to ask. But we'd decided that our shul couldn't support two minyanim for ma'ariv, and that Jonathan would stay in shul. Turns out, no. I am amazed and awed at this.

I washed up the dishes and straightened up as best I could given the advanced state of clutter and the fact that I'd had to cancel the cleaning lady last week. A friend walked Jonathan home - he took a milk crate with him because we had no low chairs for him. And he changed into his shiva shirt (the garment he'd rent at the funeral) and a pair of shorts, put a pillow on the crate and that was that.

For the next three hours, people filled our house, paid their respects, and then, as more people entered, left. We had people from our block and people from our shul and my friends and...Jonathan expected a small turnout. I knew better and I was right.

This morning, we had shacharit. Since it's rosh chodesh (New Moon), we had to have a torah scroll. We had one, from our shul. It stayed on our dining room table overnight. This created an odd situation - I was getting dressed when I realized I needed something in the living room. So, clad in only a skirt, I was about to get it when I realized I could NOT walk past a sefer Torah in that state of undress. At which point the doorbell rang and I had to finish dressing anyway.

We had at least 25 men in our living room and dining room. I was trying to daven in the kitchen, but it's a big room and they needed the space. No one asked me, but I left it for the overflow and hid in my bedroom.

Really tremondous.

A friend brought us breakfast, including coffee, and Jonathan is now calmly talking with a caller. It's the shiva he needed, and I think it'll give him the strength to get through the rest of it.

Comments

*hugs* I'm glad being home for Shabbat was so good for you both.

Friends sat shiva at my old apartment for Stacey's passing and I could only take it for four days. I love my friends but I couldn't put up with that many people in my house for that long.

I'm glad things are better and your friends and shul are being so supportive.

I'm glad it was healing for both of you, and that you have so many people around you who care and/or understand mitzvot. :)

I'm really, really glad you're both doing better.

I'm very glad to hear it.

I'm glad to hear that having shiva at home was helpful to both of you.

This. Sending support, too.